i dont really know the characters but i love the mood of the fic. the weather and the smoking (great details btw) really set the theme and feeling of the atmosphere. noice ^_~

This is really well-written. Though most of it is told through description and there isn't much in the way of dialogue (not to mention that the fic isn't very lengthy), Eiri's characterized really well. I could imagine something like this happening in the manga.
Great job.