Why have you given up on that story?! It's awesome! It makes me sad when authors give up on their masterpieces ;_;

Sa! I like this, truely. It has a grand theme and I laughed during the little Omi bandages situation. I can guess who the people near the end are, but I'de like to know for sure, so please up-date quick as you can.

Hm! This sounds very interesting. Poor Jack though, I hate that he got so hurt and that he was tourtured. *sob* Anyway, I love the way you write, it just seems to flow so well and the details are very good. I look forward to seeing more on this one soon.

Wow! it is very interesting.

They have me very wrapped up in the plot.

Only a thing, why do they match Chase with Wuya? What did make them? That is a horrible condemnation...

This is really good. It is hard to find Jack/Kimiko coupling fanfictions, and I'm glad that I finally found a good one. You really should contiue this. I wonder though, how did jack get those wounds?

Sho

*cheers* This is great so far. I .>"

I must say this was a tad bit similar to Rest for the Wicked's beginning, but I still like it. Update soon please ^^

O! I like so far!

Well written, and intriguing. I must know what has happened to dear old Jack too. The need-to-know is killing me. ^_^

Update son...

Oh! it hurted me the alone one to imagine like Jack arrived to the temple

I will wait to that speaks and then... *evil laugh*

good start but just to tell you
there is a story like this but the author died or something because she left it incomplete
soo if you want to know about that story just reply this and i will give you the link
see you later

Wow! I saw the summary and I thought "Dear God, two of my favorite pairings and an interesting-sounding idea... too good to be true?"

So I clicked. And I read. And let me tell you, I was pleasantly surprised! A good, solid first chapter with everybody in character, what more can I ask for?

My advice is to check everyone's lines for inflection though, you know, the way they speak. Like, for example, when Kimiko's arguing with Raimundo about Jack's wounds. "Did you not see-?" I think she would more likely use "didn't". Omi, on the other hand, doesn't use contractions (I think that's what they're called) like didn't, wouldn't, etc. In fact, I think all the other three dragons would use those. It gives their "voices" a different feel. Not using contractions makes things feel much more formal.

Uh, yeah. I'm done babbling now. Just something I noticed!
-Zita