   Napris
2009-07-03 . chapter 22Hallo!
Okie, I'm finally done with your series. :) I think I finished it well fast enough. Just a couple days and I'm totally done. I could've probably finished both stories in just one day if I wasn't so busy. Grr!
dislikes:
--action scenes. they seemed not up to par because it sounds you were very inexperienced in writing them. or uncomfortable. but i'm glad you wrote them because in this story, some action is imperative. so far, all the conflict has been drama conflict. a little static for my usual tastes.
--Drama fics are not my favorite fics. But I read them all because I'm a romantic and that's what most ff authors write. I like adventure/action more because that seems more suited off in naruto fanfictions. i don't know why, I like reading fight scenes and big-world-altering conflicts that require heros to save everyone! yanno. normal adventure-quest-shounen-fight themes. you don't have to describe word-for-word every move someone makes in a fight scene. you can just say "sasuke had been dodging itachi and retaliating all his kunais/shurikens with his katana for the past two hours." instead of describing the exact motions sasuke used to reflect itachi's weapons with his katana. OMG I DON'T KNOW. Sorry for bad attempy at giving advice. O_O however, i understand sasuhina is difficult to include adventure/action since there is so, so, so little offerings of canon action in the first place.
--did hinata even get in on ANY action? Omg, there were several instances in which our heroine, who is a kunoichi, DID not use her skills. one, was in your last fic, and that was during that one festival and hinata almost got molested. sasuke had yelled at her about not being shinobi-like, too, but softened because she was crying. she said she didn't want to hurt them because they were comrades, not the enemy, but I think she didn't have to hurt them. she could have gotten away and dodged their hands and stuff. so I think I want to see just a little more of the scenes like where Hinata slams a guy several rooms away because she gets pissed off. ;D just a letle more. sasuke can still be the charming hero! i like that, too.
what I liked:
--I loved how real you made your fiction. Granted, it wasn't anything canon, but it's kind of 'plausible.'
--I love Sasuke's character and how he's totally an ASSHOLE (like seriously! Nobody would like him besides Hinata and I can see WHY!!) to EVERYONE besides Hinata. But that's okay though. she's got a patience of a saint. =_=
--I liked all the romantic scenes and all the romance in this story. you really made sasuhina a very 'soul-mate' pairing in this fic. that's nice. ^_^ and I LOVE LOVE LOVE how much Sasuke is so DEEPLY DEEPLY in love with Hinata. that's always
--I love the NaruSaku. That pairing wasn't belitted at all. their vibrancy wasn't dimmed and neither was their role in the story. if you ask me, their type of pairing should be the most soul-mate-ish because they're just ... so ... cool. I dunno. I like how you make everyone in the story have an important role if they turn up a lot. hinata's team weren't given a lot of scenes but that's okay, in exchange for the extra sasuhina scenes.
--I love the Naruto-Sasuke and Akio-Riku comparison. It's CUTE!! I especially like that scene where Mikoto was waiting with Akio and Riku and they were fighting and then Naruto and sasuke comes and THEY were fighting. LOL!
--I really liked the Sakura-Ino-Hinata scenes. It's very homey and warm and their sisterly chemistry is soothing. It's like, away from all the drama and romance and action and murder and men, there are people who understand you and would stay beside you and support you. Idunno. I'm not wording it correctly enough but it's a nice feeling of camaraderie whenever I read about sakura and ino fighting over something with Hinata left out and then afterwards they would both still stand up for Hinata and would both glare at anyone who harms hinata. Idk. something's really nice about the way you wrote those Sakura-hinata and sakura-ino and sakura-ino-Hinata scenes. it's not overdone or underdone.
--I dunno. I really don't like pregnant character fics, because it's awkward and honestly pretty boring; especially if the main character is pregnant, but somehow, the way your story worked, it was very warm and nice. naruto scared of going home and being all awkward with sakura and sasuke and hinata happy and exhilarated -- and even after the births, it all sounded so fun and cute! It was also nice how sakura was there with hinata, it was very, very camaraderie-ish.
--I really like Neji in this fic! He was a very convincing older-brother figure and he seemed so loveable. i think me calling your neji loveable should give you an idea of what kind of person i am.
--I really also like how you made Sakura. she is SO not a demon in this fiction. While I've never been a big fan of sakura's, I respect her. I really, always have. That's why i hate it when people totally make her the worst, most shallow figure in the stories. because in part 2, she really becomes a lot cooler. :O If sakura stayed the way she was in the beginning of the Naruto story, then I guess I wouldn't mind if people really demonized her. Also, I don't read many sakura fictions as often as I should ... because I don't like sasusaku or most sakura pairings. (i think I'm okay with saiSaku, NaruSaku and Itasaku though. i don't hunt for them all over the net like I do for sasuhina, but they're tolerable, that's all) OKAY THAT IS ENOUGH ABOUT MY OPINION ON SAKURA. I just think your portrayal of sakura was absolutely *perfect.* She's pretty violent and aggressive to Naruto and the bad characters, but that's it. she's a very capable ninja, medic, and above all, friend. thanks for keeping her normal. :)
--I like Naruto's character, too! He was funy! perfect comedic relief and I like how you kept his upbeat albeit sometimes awkward character in character. I felt so happy for him when Akio was born and I was actually pretty angry when Sasuke was all disdainful and mean about Naruto getting a family. that's good to evoke so many happy and nice feelings in me, the reader.
--I also like how Itachi's death was somewhat close to the canon death. (honestly, ... i'm behind in the series. >..< Sorry!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS FIC! I enjoyed it a lot. -^_^- |
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