 Thyme In Her Eyes 2009-07-09 . chapter 1Because I did my very best to erase all memory of the Transformers movie from my mind, I was kinda reluctant to approach this 'fic; feeling a bit worried and doubtful that I'd be able to "get" this one.
But wow, I got it. God, this was so *sweet* and yet so horrible at the same time, and that's not an easy combination to pull off well. This was so beautiful, and so perfectly self-contained. I really got the sense of being invited into the private universe of the characters, and the trick of showing Annabelle through Ironhide's uncomprehending eyes, and being able to see and understand what he can't, was how you really got this story to shine. It's a very depressing view of how a Bot would react to a human in love, and yet it's also very fitting.
On a technical note, I'm amazed how you managed to include so many rich details that really brought me into the Lennox home and made their weird domestic situation come to life, but at the same time so smoothly and so sparsely managed to cover so many passing years. I could see all these precious mini-scenes and snapshot moments in my head. Your story didn't rush along either, but carried me along slowly as each paragraph (and set of years) developed so neatly into the next. And yet this 'fic is so short! You suggested so much with so little, and I've got so much to learn from you when it comes to economy when writing.
I also really liked how you portrayed Ironhide's changing perspective on Annabelle, from regarding her almost as a mission at first, then an incomprehensible little being, and finally a valued companion, but in the end just being unable to make that final emotional leap to understanding (let alone returning) her feelings. He never fully comprehends her, while she understands him too well. They were so familiar with each other, and yet so distant, and it wasn't grandly tragic, just sad and pitiful and strangely touching. But somehow, that didn't stop the story from keeping its spark of humour running all the way through - up to and including the wonderful/terrible irony of that *devastating* ending (how could you?! T_T).
It's hard to pick a favourite line or moment, because there are so many great touches here (Annabelle chewing on Hide, dressing up as an Autobot for Halloween, her chunky metal jewelry, her eventual preference towards well-built military guys, and that advert! XD), but I really loved: "Hide, it'll be like having children!" It's so insane and so sweet, and so hopelessly sad, and *this* is what I love so much about your stories. These amazing moments of madness and sympathy.
And that ending. Oh. So painful to read (and this coming from someone who finds "sudden death" endings to be a total cop-out and very unsatisfying, but this was like a punch to the gut). Her soft, sad acceptance of this hopeless love, and then...that. It was so unexpected, and so cutting.
Personally, I'd love to see you expand on this, and get to read the extra scenes you mentioned in your notes. I can understand how they wouldn't fit in this piece, and the story is definitely better without them included imho (because then it would be more focused on "Annabelle's childhood" and would leave the story as a whole too sweet and fluffy, rather than simply charting the progression of her relationship - or lack thereof - with Ironhide), but I think the leftover material is really emotionally rich, and would be great for a drabble series. Like snapshots of a childhood with an Autobot, or something like that. It'd be lovely to see the innocent and heartwarming scenes away from the angst, imho. So if you're feeling in the mood for mecha fluff someday, why not give that a go? ;)
Anyway, I'll close now by reminding you that this was great. I'm not into this movie series at all, but I was pulled into this story so easily, and loved it. ^_^ |
 Gladrial10 2007-07-18 . chapter 1SQUEE! OMG! How could you possibly write something so dead on from simply watching the movie?! I thought with such a limited basis, I would be walking into something rather amateurish. WOW!
Favorite lines:
"Even her annoying habits, such as coating him repeatedly in copious amounts of saliva or chewing on him to relieve the pain of teething, are no more than that: annoyances."
"She goes as far as to bring him ridiculous flowers to decorate his dashboard. Sometimes she cries and cries until his sensors alert him of a possible dehydration."
"Ironhide is too overwhelmed by the seemingly endless list of human’s antics to give every of her whims a second thought, and just answers honestly that yes, the numerous pieces of big, chunky metal jewellery that she wears makes her quite beautiful for a human in his optics, and let her kiss his mouth plate as much as she wants."
It's all so cute! Especially her dressing as an autobot and him chasing off the boys.
And such a sad ending. *sniff* It all touched me so. Way to go, girl! You definately impressed me. |