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| Canada Cowboy 2007-08-06 ch 1,  | abuseWow, a very interesting idea indeed. I figured that Lloyd himself is kind of like Colette, meaning he always tries to cover up his true feelings and emotions by presenting a different exterior (Colette by smiling and apologizing, while Lloyd by his "idealism" rant). I've always felt the way they were portrayed was unrealistic, so this is a very creative way to get into Lloyd's head, and start making him face his own demons, rather than do his idealism stuff all the time. Grammatically-wise, yes I did see some errors and run-on sentences. You mentioned how you posted this late, but really that's no excuse (not meaning to be harsh). If you were that concerned about the errors, you should be editing this thing again, and posted it at a later date. Quality always takes precedent over speed. Other than that, I say you're okay. Just make sure you check for sentencing and grammar and you'll be fine in the future. |
| Dawnstarshine 2007-08-02 ch 1, | abuseWow! This was the best thing I read since I came back to the internet! XoX So... AWESOME! You wrote it perfectly... As you always do!! |
| Luz-fictiongirl 2007-07-29 ch 1, | abuseI personally liked it ^^ the idea is pretty good i think and i liked your description ^^ |
| Mez10000 2007-07-16 ch 1, | abuseAww, cute. Something I always think when it comes to people entering memories - if they can't interact with anything, then they couldn't stand on the floor, or use it to support their weight. So, they wouldn't be able to walk or move, would they? But like I said, I always think that - it's not a fault with yours. (Like in HP:Chamber of Secrets...) Anyway, happy writing! |
| Honey and Grime 2007-07-15 ch 1, | abuseI'm not usually a fan of Colette/Lloyd stuff, but this was a cute story. I like it very much. ^^ |