I will be editing this chapter soon.

I hope you are planning to finish and edit this story Sonar. i know that this isn't the best chapter of the story but it is obivious that you were very early into your writing since your style has changed a bit.

You got a bit of editing to do on this story.

Well I think that it's cool that you've decided to keep on writing this story out. It's interesting to see how you've improved in writing since starting :) Though you still need to work on keeping the tenses the same through the story (or at least the POVs)

Is your first language English? No offense but your writing seems a bit more formal then most of those whose first language is English.

Yes...I did notice a mistake. It is suppose to say "Asazi said," You keep asking yourself if you will love him back."

I noticed in the last paragraph. By the way, I will be updating soon.

Hey good story, maybe try writing either the rest of this one or the next one in past tense? Sorry, it's just easier to read. I like that the story is from the 'bad guys' point of view.

Cute story, I can't wait to see what happens next. Keep it up!

short, and sweet. normaly, i don't take to well to the villians side, but there is an exception to the Tempest/blaze romances, they are so fuun to read, and they go really slowly.

another error

It's what's her name

One error

Short but good. Is the story coming to a close or is it introducing a large epic?

Hehe...getting very interesting...it'd get to be quite suspenseful if, say, someone died (don't care who; could be anybody) and Blaze and Tempest take off, leaving X with Asazi while Blaze and Tempest live happily ever after... Eh, whatever. Cool fic.

Interesting...quite thoughtful...

Cool fight but it did last a wee bit too long. But, hey, had me on my toes. Keep it up!