Wow... there were so many things wrong with this fic, it's not even funny... okay, it is funny when read in a dramatic fashion, but really... this has to be a joke. It's like this was written by a child. Ignoring the spelling/gramatical errors (there are a lot), there's more I need to go into.

A random kitten is thrown into the story. Get rid of the kitten. It doesn't need to be there. That made it very hard to take this fic seriously. Like another commenter said, you may as well have Master Chief turn into a zombie just for the heck of it the way this story worked.

The dialogue is unprofessional and somewhat out-of-characterish, and seperate the paragraphs. It's hard to read text that's clumped together like that.

I'm not even gonna question this whole princess thing, but what I do wanna know is... since when do princesses live in houses? Don't they live in mansions/palaces/castles?

...PURGE IT WITH FIRE AND SALT.

Kindly go to the nearest freeway and walk into traffic. Your worthless genes cannot be allowed to continue polluting the breeding population.

And then Master Chief was a zombie.

Oh god...I think I just died a little inside and I only read the first sentence...

Bhwa Ha Ha Ha!.
Dude, this is one of the best stream of consciousness fic that I've read in a long while, kudos for writing it =).
See ya =)!!.

I rewrote it. BTW Kasper stop the self insertion.



It was a bad day for the main character of halo.

He and his group were surrounded by covenant people whose guns were going "PEW PEW PEW BANG CHATP ZAPP"

MASTER chief's guns however were also shooting back. the battle went on for hours but finally master chief got his team together and they were going to kill the aliens.

But they were tough aliens with green blood.

Master Chief also had a pet kitten that was waiting for him to feed, which was why master chief had to hurry because if the kitten wasn't fed...

It was also the princess's kitten.

Master chief said "lets go team" and then he got in the jeep from halo and shot his rocket launcher at a lot. No Alien died the first shot and everyone around him was scared because they were thinking that the rocket luncher wasn't effective against aliens.

But he said "we only have 10 minutes until the kitten dies! The princess would die without her kitten". MC said to Kasper(The author, self insertion is a ** sometimes) “Use you're gun that shoots fast”(Apparently Kasper forgot the name)

I got up and shot the covenant aliens and ran out. the covenant people and they all yelled "Agh" and most of them died, but one was still alive.

Master chief came over too him and said "lights out **" and shot him in the head and then there were no more covenant people because Master chief had killed them all.

ONE HOUR LATER

With him gaining victory, master chief then when back to base where he went and got a bath and fed the kitten its meal.

The princess and master chief got in loved because master chief was getting good at taking cares of things.

They got married and I was the best man at the wedding where they got married in a space church and right where they were about to kiss. Johnson, on of the team members, broke into the space church and said “I got bad news Guys! The Covenant are attacking the princess's house” And then the master chef and I said ”UH OH” at the same time because we new we had to fight again.


Use a spell checker please.

*mind wipes myself*

You have major f u c k i n g problems. You disgraced the Master Chief's name by writing this stupid story.
ERRORS- Spelling, punctuation, paragraphing, **-everything is messed up and full of errors. I hate writers like you, you're not even a writer, because they just f u c k up story lines. Take this story off the net, it's so f u c k i n g stupid.

troll

wow... that was... original...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

The bad grammar just makes it so funny.

bikes

yikes

yikes