Pretty interesting story.

I think you're a promising writer, so some constructive advice for you from an old dude like myself: First of all, you'd do well with a beta. Some language could be tidied up here and there to avoid repetition of certain phrases and noticeable words. It helps to have fresh eyes have a look over. I suggest a re-working of your formatting of turtles' dialog in the chapter where they discovers Karai as well: You do not need to have so many capitalized words where a simple exclamation mark can give the strength you need.

I also believe that Leo was rather out of character in his fight with Karai/. Really, would Leonardo say something like "Prepare for your death, **?" I think not, especially in advanced age! Granted, he would be consumed with anger and hard feelings, but such extreme words just doesn't seem right for Leonardo--maybe more for a young Raphael.

His attacking of Karai, who was clearly not an opponent of equal skill seems quite dishonorable, something Leonardo would never do, being the epitome of honor.

All that aside, the story was engaging and the idea of Karai having a double is very well thought out and interesting. I also laughed to no end when Michaelangelo says “I like having fun, I want to stab her over and over and…” That was great!

I can't believe it's over, but it was a wonderful story. Such a fascinating read.

I really liked Karai when she was first introduced in the cartoon, and thought she was really cool. Later, however, when she turned into a crazy woman, I didn't like her so much anymore, or at all even. I love how this story explores what Karai would become if she opened her eyes to the truth of her "father" Saki, and chose to walk the path of honor.

Looking forward to your next projects. :) Perhaps the Pirates story will be updated soon too?

Wow. This is so terribly bittersweet. On one hand, the romantic-comedy feel of Leo and Karai's sparring match. Very interesting to see how much Leo came around after his initial reaction. Also, the Raph and Don bonding really brought the "aw" factor, because I always love it when those two hang up.

But then, on the other hand, Mikey. Wow. I've been fortunate to not have direct personal experience with strokes or their medical consequences, so I can't comment as to whether this is an accurate depiction ... but absolutely it's a haunting depiction. The mixture of innocent child-like qualities with savage bloodthirstiness is both heart-breaking and terrifying. Which made Raph and Don's gentleness and patience with him all the more heart-warming to me, for some odd reason.

Congrats on finishing the story, and thanks for sharing it with us. For what it's worth, I'd definitely enjoy seeing more done with this version of Mike. He didn't get much "screen time" here, and there's definitely a story there worth telling.

Poor Mike, I know you hinted at his change throughout the story, here or there. But to see him reduced to this. *sniff* So sad.

Yet you give some light friendly banter between Don and Raph, as well as the banter between Karai - oops Marie (lol)- to counter balance the part about Mike.

Nice story well done.

*dances* Wonderful! I am absolutely awed at your talents yet again, Rein! I look forward to more fiction!

~Mikaela

Yay! More story! =D

Dude! That's Doctor Doolittle! The -old- Doctor Doolittle! Cool!

D'aw. Sad to see him forget stuff like that. Poor Mikey.

Gee. o.o Now I -really- feel sorry for the poor turtle.

D'aw. Good ending. The banter was nicely played too. XD Great story, Rene'.

LN

Hi Rein,

I've been away on a long, LONG hiatus (the usual, work and life got in the way), and I'm not sure if you'll remember me because of the new alias on (my old email addy got deleted and I couldn't recover my password). I still love your work, though! This was a wonderful read, a beautifully crafted side of Karai one doesn't see often. I can't wait for the next chapter to come.

best wishes,

Spade

This is a fascinating chapter. I was taken by surprise; I don't know why--perhaps because he's seemed to mellow over the years--but I really wasn't expecting Leo's rage. And Donatello's calmness, by contrast, was just as interesting. It feels like it provides a hint at how each has grieved for Splinter over the last few decades.

I'm also still mulling over Leo calling Karai a **. It's not often you read that word coming from Leo's mouth. Perhaps the years have not just mellowed him but also allowed him to let down his guard more often? And perhaps that explains part of his anger--he feels tricked. Hmm.

Lastly, I think Karai's plan for leaving the Foot Clan is somewhat ironic. As far as I can tell, Hiromi did nothing wrong to deserve death as Karai's doppelganger. She was simply useful (well, to be fair, probably essential) to Karai's escape plan. Such ruthless practicality ... it seems like Karai escaped the Foot but did not ENTIRELY escape her father's legacy. Thanks for one heckuva chapter!

Gah!! Those danged cliff-hangers are killing me!

I can't describe how excellent this story is, but I'll give it a shot. Your attention to detail is perfect. I can almost see what's happening, like I'm watching an episode on TV.

I hope Leo doesn't kill Karai after all she went through to escape the Shredder. I eagerly await the next chapter. ^_^

Donatello the voice of reason, thank goodness he was near or Karai might have found herself in more trouble.

Leo's ire making him go after Karai and causing some quick suspense through the chapter. But now after taking time to listen, well at least he hadn't killed her, so she could explain and he could hear her out.

I think by now Leo is willing to drop the feud, at least I hope he is.

Good gravy, you'd better -not- kill her after that explanation, feller! Great chapter, Rene'! ;)

LN

“'Right, well, no need to discuss my journey towards senility, let’s see about getting this door opened.'

Don chuckled, though, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder, grinning, 'You do know I’m going to have to tell Raph about this.'

Leo glared back, 'You know if you do…'

'Hey, it’s well worth kitchen duty for a whole year, bro!'

'Yeah, you say that now. Wait until we die of food poisoning and then you’ll be sorry.'

Don smirked, 'At least we’ll all die together. Hey, you want me to go upstairs and check the barn area?'"

I liked this part a lot. The brotherly teasing. The joke about being middle-aged. The various fanfic futures tend to be very grim for the guys. It's refreshing and interesting to read about a future where everything isn't necessarily perfect but nor is everything apocalyptic either.

-

"A moment of awkward silence followed before Don quirked one eye ridge, 'Apparently, Madam, you have us at a disadvantage.'"

Oh, that's just awesome. What a great line to give to Donny. Rock on. :)

-

"Leonardo stared intently at the woman and then, like a morning sunrise, realization dawned. Colors and shapes from his past brightened his memory. They replaced aging skin with young; graying hair with dark; and sharpened facial features from the rounded, fuller visage standing before him."

That's rather poetic. I like it. I also like the idea that Karai's face is a bit softer and less severe. It seems very metaphorically appropriate for the other changes she's undergone. And of course, it's a nice touch that it's Leo who figures it out.

Oh boy. XD Leo's gonna faint. Or he would if he was of the opposite gender I'll wager. Sounds like Karai's appearance gave him a bit of a scare there. Can't wait for the next chapter, Rene'! Update soon!

LN

Ha, you truly are evil. Well, maybe not that evil. No more evil then any other author ending in cliffies that is.

Once again loved the banter between Don and Leo as they discuss opening the door, and Karai making what must be a difficult decision even after all this time.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

M... Marie seems somehow... familiar. ;)

Excellent though, I'm looking forward to reading.