Dear SuGaRLiLy:

Something occurred to me around the time I sent out last month's reminder. Most of the Malachy Challenge reminders are personalized according to the respondent's motto, so that each participant receives a different chess factoid, magic trick, Maximus the Confessor quote, etc. It follows that each of you has, since you joined the Challenge, received innumerable reminders that would be brand-new to any of your fellow Malachites.

Therefore, instead of sending out a new reminder this month, I'm going to propose that you get in touch with the others and share your old reminders with them. It'll be a marvelous thing - a party in your inbox, if you will. A Markov can give you the couplet of the sonnet that begins, “Those parts of thee that the world’s eye doth view…” Bonnie-incognito can explain why the Malachy Challenge and Charms research don’t go together. Bookwormofmassiveproportions can tell you how the chess grandmaster Arthur Dake was once mated in nine moves - while playing White, no less. Captain Kurt Hoffman can give you the key of the original "Ghostly Trio". Erie Maxwell can tell you the answer to the question, "Which is the chief sacramental used in the Church?" Handschuhmaus can share with you how Msgr. Ronald Knox managed to make "The wicked have laid a snare for me: yet I erred not from Thy precepts" start with an N. Knightlee can give you the secret connection between her Malachy motto and rampant imposters on the Totus Pius blog. Lily22 can tell you which Triple Crown race was won by a horse named Vagrant in 1876. My Dead Tenshi can enlighten you on how St. Alphonsus Liguori's "Stimoli ad una religiosa per avanzarsi nell' amore del suo divino Sposo Gesù-Cristo" differs from his earlier "Stimoli a' Religiosi per avanzarsi nella perfezione del loro stato". Name On The Spine can tell you about the mystic powers contained in the phrase, "Qoheleth, please help me." Simply script can identify the doorkeeper of the interior life. Syuveil can tell you how the lower kind of fear of God is expelled from the human soul. Xxjonibaby can explain why “Ashes” would be an inappropriate hymn to include in the Divine Office. XXBrightsideBumblebeeXx can tell you what the Lord Great Chamberlain of England does to earn his daily bread. And then there are Cantare, Fye Kurokawa, OSUSprinks, and Your Existence, who can likewise share their reminders with you; the original KeT and xXIt’s Only The NightXx, who don’t need to share their reminders, since most of their recent ones (like yours) are publicly visible among their reviews; and DrakkenWasHere, phieosophy, Tyche Nemesis, and zueee, who, sadly, haven’t received any reminders recently, since they’ve rendered themselves incommunicado. (But don’t let that spoil your fun. Just say the word, and I’ll be glad to send you the reminders they *would* have gotten, had they been a bit more sociable.)

Sincerely,

Qoheleth

really creative.

Dear SuGaRLiLy:

This month's reminder comes from St. Josemaría Escrivá's book "The Way", which the estimable founder of Opus Dei very thoughtfully divided into 999 short, numbered sections - just enough for every single Malachite to get 9. Here, therefore, are the ones that correspond to "Flos Florum".

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108. Following the words of a foreign author, I’ll tell you that your apostolic life is worth only as much as your prayer.

219. If you realize that those sufferings – physical or spiritual – are purification and merit, bless them.

330. How sad you make me feel when you are not sorry for your venial sins! For you won’t have begun to have true interior life until you are.

441. You are hurt by your neighbor’s lack of charity toward you. Think how God must be hurt by your lack of charity – of love – toward Him!

552. Have only a few private devotions, but be constant in them.

663. You ask me to suggest a cure for your sadness. I’m going to give you a prescription that comes from an expert advisor, the Apostle James: “Is any of you sad?” Are you sad, my son? “Let him pray,” he says. Try and you’ll see.

774. Steps: to be resigned to the will of God; to conform to the will of God; to want the will of God; to love the will of God.

885. One pin prick. And another. And another. Suffer them, man! Don’t you see that you are so little that in your life – in your way – you can offer Him only these little crosses? Besides, look: one cross upon another – one pin prick, and another – what a huge pile! Finally, child, you have learned to do one really big thing: to love.

996. You have a poor idea of your way, if lack of enthusiasm makes you think you have lost it! It is the moment of trial; that is why you have been deprived of all sensible consolations.

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Sincerely,

Qoheleth

Dear SuGaRLiLy:

As you are doubtless aware, the traditional symbol of papal authority was the triple tiara, a threefold crown signifying the Pope's triple office as priest, prophet, and king. As you are also doubtless aware, the American Triple Crown is a series of three great horse races that has been occurring annually (with five exceptions) for - you guessed it - over 111 years. Therefore, I have a perfect excuse to use this month's Malachy reminder to deluge you with racing statistics. Joy.

So here goes. The 108th annual running of the American Triple Crown occurred in 1987; in that year, Alysheba, ridden by Chris McCarron, won the Kentucky Derby (with a time of 2 minutes and 3.4 seconds) and the Preakness Stakes (with a time of 1 minute and 55.8 seconds), while Bet Twice, ridden by Craig Perret, won the Belmont Stakes with a time of 2 minutes and 28.2 seconds.

There you have it. Now: you get busy writing "Flos Florum", or next month I'll do the same thing with the English Triple Crown.

Sincerely,

Qoheleth

Dear SuGaRLiLy:

For this month's Malachy reminder, I'm falling back on the classics. The musical kind, I mean - the kind, that is, with opus numbers. Specifically, I'm falling back on the 138 pieces Ludwig van Beethoven composed that were published during his lifetime. So, if you're looking for some sort of musical inspiration to help you write "Flos Florum", you might consider Opus 108: the 25 Folk-Song Settings, for "Music, Love, and Wine", "Sunset", "O Sweet Were the Hours", "The Maid of Isla", "The Sweetest Lad Was Jamie", "Dim, Dim Is My Eye", "Bonnie Laddie, Highland Laddie", "The Lovely Lass of Inverness", "Behold, My Love", "Sympathy", "O! Thou Art the Lad of My Heart, Willie", "O, Had My Fate Been Join'd with Thine", "Come Fill, Fill, My Good Fellow!", "O, How Can I Be Blithe and Glad", "O Cruel Was My Father", "Could This Ill World Have Been Contriv'd", "O Mary, at Thy Window Be", "Enchantress, Farewell", "O Swiftly Glides the Bonny Boat", "Faithfu' Johnie", "Jeanie's Distress", "The Highland Watch", "The Shepherd's Song", "Again, My Lyre, Yet Once Again", and "Sally in Our Alley".

Sincerely,

Qoheleth

Dear SuGaRLiLy:

Since this past month featured a royal wedding, it seemed appropriate that this month's reminder involve the hobbies of the British upper classes in some way. And since I happen to have in my possession a book of 161 question and answers on the subject of "Heraldry, Ancestry, and Titles" by a former editor of Burke's Peerage, the opportunity was simply too good to pass up. (Of course, if L. G. Pine knew that I was using his book to inspire you to write a story around Pope Paul VI's Malachy-List motto, he, as a good Anglican, would probably have had a fit, but, hey, that's life.) Here, therefore, without further ado, is your Malachy reminder for this month.

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Q. 108: What are courtesy titles?

A: These are the secondary titles of peers that are used by their sons out of courtesy. No subject seems to exercise more difficulty than this one. Yet, if one thinks about it, it is quite simple. Consider the titles born by the Duke of Marlborough. He is, beside his dukedom, Marquess of Blandford, Earl of Sunderland, Earl of Marlborough, Baron Spencer, and Baron Churchill. Clearly, the Duke cannot use all these titles at once. It therefore seems quite in order for his eldest son to be styled by his father’s best secondary title. Thus, the Duke’s son is called, out of courtesy, the Marquess of Blandford. He is not a peer, and, being a commoner, can stand for and sit in the House of Commons.

Courtesy titles are found in each rank of the peerage, but they are only recognisable as peerage titles when they belong to earldoms, marquessates, or dukedoms. A Viscount may also be a baron, but, even so, his eldest son will be called the Hon. So-and-So. The latter is also a courtesy title, but it is not a peerage dignity. With earls, it is very unlikely that they will not possess a secondary or even tertiary peerage; the theory is that a man was created through various grades until he reached the dignity of an earl. Thus, today, anyone created an earl is likely or almost certain to have a viscounty conferred on him also.

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Sincerely,

Qoheleth

Dear SuGaRLiLy:

A nice, simple reminder this time. Since each of the 176 verses of Psalm 118 is an independent stanza in its own right, I thought I'd send everyone the appropriately numbered verse(s) - in the Knox translation, since you can probably find the King James or Douay versions on your own. Whether this will help you write "Flos Florum" or not, I have no idea, but I figured it was worth a try.

Verse 108: "Nay, Lord, accept these vows of mine; teach me to do Thy bidding."

Sincerely,

Qoheleth

Dear SuGaRLiLy:

This month's reminder (like, I believe, one other reminder many moons ago) comes from the classic Eastern Orthodox devotional collection known as the Philokalia, which contains numerous numbered lists of short texts for meditation, making it perfect for my purposes. The specific list from which your reminder of "Flos Florum" is taken is known as the Four Centuries (i.e., 400 texts) on Love, by the great St. Maximus the Confessor.

A word about this St. Maximus. Born in Constantinople around A.D. 580, he abandoned a civil service career for the monastic life and became one of the most distinguished theologians of his era, participating with distinction in many of the major theological disputes of the time. His stand against the official Monothelitism of Emperor Constans II inspired H. G. Beck to call him "perhaps the last independent thinker among the theologians of the Byzantine church"; it also got him exiled to what is now the Republic of Georgia, where he died in 662. Among the Eastern Orthodox, St. Maximus's holiness and learning are legendary; no other author has so much space devoted to his work in the Philokalia. Nor has the West forgotten him; in addition to the Beck comment quoted above, the future Pope Benedict XVI identified him in "Behold the Pierced One" as "the great theological interpreter" of Dithelite Christology, and credited him with working out "the central distinction which is fundamental to the Council [Constantinople III]" - thereby placing him on a par with Sts. Athanasius, Leo the Great, and Cyril of Alexandria. (Unlike these others, St. Maximus has not yet been declared a Doctor of the Church, but it can only be a matter of time.) His feast day is celebrated on August 13.

Now: on with the texts!

#108 (2nd Century, text 8): He who drives out self-love, the mother of the passions, will with God’s help easily rid himself of the rest, such as anger, irritation, rancor, and so on. But he who is dominated by self-love is overpowered by the other passions, even against his will. Self-love is the passion of attachment to the body.

#219 (3rd Century, text. 19): There are four kinds of men who hoard wealth: the self-indulgent man, the conceited man, the man who lacks faith, and the treasurer or bursar. Clearly, it is only the last who conserves it for a good purpose – namely, so as always to have the means of supplying everyone’s basic needs.

#330 (4th Century, text. 30): If a brother happens to be tempted and persists in insulting you, do not be driven out of your state of love, even though the same evil demon should trouble your mind. You will not be driven out of that state if, when abused, you bless; when slandered, you praise; and, when tricked, you maintain your affection. This is the way of Christ’s philosophy; if you do not follow it, you do not share His company.

Sincerely,

Qoheleth

Dear SuGaRLiLy:

Let's talk about magic for a minute. Stage magic, I mean, not the real thing - and, more specifically, card tricks. I have here a book by the illustrious John Scarne that details 155 of these delightful exercises; it seems only fitting that I should send you a description of #108 as a Malachy reminder. (After you've posted "Flos Florum", I might even tell you how it's done.)

Sincerely,

Qoheleth

SCARNE CARD TRICK #108: SIX-WAY BAFFLER II. Simplicity itself. The magician has a spectator fetch a shuffled deck of cards. After checking to make sure there’s no joker, she turns her back and has the spectator cut off between one to twenty cards and put them in his pocket. She then has a second spectator cut the deck as nearly in half as possible, and pocket the bottom packet. Once all this is done, she turns back around, picks up the remaining packet, and glances through it thoughtfully; then she turns to the spectators, and informs each of them – correctly – how many cards he has in his pocket.

Dear SuGaRLiLy:

As you doubtless know, hymnals traditionally assign numbers to each of their hymns, so that the pastor or choir director can say things like "Let us now sing number 267". It seemed only fitting to turn this into a Malachy reminder, particularly since I have access to a 1975 Worship hymnal with 313 numbered songs, which is just about the right size for almost all the Malachites to get three. (Although you, sadly, only get two, since your motto's number was just a little too high.) So, if you're looking for a song to include in "Flos Florum", to heighten a scene or whatnot, perhaps you might consider "Hail the Day That Sees Him Rise" (#108 in the Worship hymnal) or "On This Day, the First of Days" (#219).

Sincerely,

Qoheleth

Dear SuGaRLiLy:

Over the course of the Malachy Challenge, I have employed a great many numbered lists of 111 or more entries in these reminders. (Most of which, of course, thanks to the baboons who run this site, are now lost to history, but that is a topic for another letter.) I have used Fortune 500 companies; I have used the meditations of Eastern monks; I have used the Collected Works of St. Alphonsus Liguori. But I have never, as far as I can recall, used the list of 121 Bizarre Chess Facts that I recently discovered in my father's library. I would like to correct that oversight right now.

BIZARRE CHESS FACT #108:

In 1891 a match was played at the Manhattan Chess Club between the bald and the hirsute members. The bald ones won by 14 points to 11.

Sincerely,

Qoheleth

Dear SuGaRLiLy:

I don't know if you'd exactly call this a reminder, but: Happy St. Malachy's Day!

Sincerely,

Qoheleth

Dear SuGaRLiLy:

Anagrams! That's our reminder theme this month. Take the letters in those mottoes, and see what crazy things we can make out of them. So, without further ado:

FLOS FLORUM ROLLO'S MUFF

(As to why a guy named Rollo would have a muff, your guess is as good as mine.)

Sincerely,

Qoheleth

Dear SuGaRLiLy:

Since the Malachy Challenge is, in fact, a Fanfiction-dot-Net challenge, it probably should have occurred to me a long time ago to do a reminder based on those lists of "X Things I Am Not Allowed to Do at Hogwarts" that seem to pop up everywhere on the Harry Potter subcategory. Anyway, it has occurred to me now; I've found a fairly good one involving 730 items, and I hereby send you the ones that fit "Lumen in Cœlo", on the same principle as last month's reminder.

#108: Giving away incriminating pictures of the staff is frowned upon.

#219: No part of the school uniform is edible.

#330: If I shave off Snape's hair while he sleeps and wear the wig to Potions, no-one cares that it makes me "feel pretty".

#441: I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.

#552: Luna and Professor Trelawney are not on drugs, and I should stop saying they are.

#663: I will not blast people with balls of magic - or any other substance.

Sincerely,

Qoheleth

P.S.: By the way, if turning off the Private Messaging feature was supposed to be a subtle hint that you didn't want to receive these anymore, you could just ask.

Odo review number 10 (see my review for Nimbus 1944's if confused):

I reviewed this already, but I realize I did not give the full praise it deserves. So I'm reviewing again anonymously, since I can't review twice with the same user.

This is marvelous! Very, very creative! The descriptions are great, and the whole thing flows so smoothly, thanks to your amazing rhythm! One of the top Odo songs, truly! I really love it.