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| ronfanforever 2008-03-21 ch 1, | abuseThis was a cute little Darry fic that I really enjoyed reading. Darry is one of my favourites, second to Steve. |
| xodamhsoirxo 2007-07-28 ch 1, anon. | abuseI don't really have anything harsh to say, I'm sorry! It was just kinda like following Darry around and I like that. There doesn't always need to be drama (although drama is amazing in stories :P ) for it to be interesting and just seeing what Darry's thinking, it's like he's letting his gaurd down without really doing it. Sorry I don't make much sense, it's a bit of a problem I have... |
| Kate 2007-07-27 ch 1, anon. | abuseNice. Don't know why you want concrit so much. Personally, I think this story was pretty good... I mean, some of your grammar could be fixed up, but you got your point across thoroughly and you didn't add any annoying extra characters... Everything I want in a fic. Good job. Don't worry so much, you're a good writer. |
| Fairlane 2007-07-27 ch 1, | abuseI thought this was a great piece - I don't have anything harsh to say, sorry. I like how it showed just an ordinary day with nothing exceptional happening, yet it wasn't boring or lagging at all. For some reason I really liked the way Darry kept breaking everything down into blocks of time, I can imagine him being like that. I thought you did great getting into his head, he is rational and responsible like Pony describes him, but he has deeper feelings and thoughts too. I love how you put some humor in too - the line about Johnny eating the potatoes was great lol. |
| FlaminSquirrelz 2007-07-27 ch 1, | abuselol I liked this! I have no harsh criticism, sorry. The ending line was great, and I loved, "“Yeah, I do. Get the fuck out, y’weasely cheat,” Soda said, and was quickly tackled by Steve." Good job. [: |
| EmilineHarris 2007-07-27 ch 1, | abuseAlthough I don't have any harsh criticisms, I wanted to review and let you know that I really enjoyed this. I liked that it was just a normal day and nothing out of the ordinary happened. I think you got into Darry's head quite well, and brought him to a "human" level... He had insecurities, awkwardness, doubts... You get the idea. I liked, too, how the rest of the gang popped in and out of his day, but didn't unneccessarily hang out for the entire duration. We get the idea (at least I did, anyway) that they all have their own lives too. I thought the following line was quite cute: "Darry was secretly glad – he’d been worried Johnny would take the last potato and he was still hungry." It made me laugh. I could see Johnny looking malnourished and hungry and eyeing that potato. So, sorry again that this is far from harsh. But I liked it, and it's hard to tear apart things that are good. :) |
| Fosterchild 2007-07-27 ch 1, | abuseThat was so beyond realistic. You have a day off, you try to think of things you might do and then the day gets in the way! I don't have anything critical...good job! |
| Honeydukes013 2007-07-27 ch 1, | abuseI know how he feels... days off seem to flyy by! Keep Writing! |
| dreamer 3097 2007-07-27 ch 1, | abusea good 0ne |