well, it's cute and disturbing at the same time. good description. ^^

Wow... That was grisly, disturbing, and well... brilliant xD You mamaged to say alot in a very short story, and that's fantastic

Oh God that was so sad!

At first I thought he was dead
Then I was happy he wasn't
Then I realized he was as good as dead
Way to play with a girl's emotions!

Aw, that's sad and cute at the same time.

great tale. very moving i hope u would continue it with another chapter or 2

Oh man, evil. ;.;

beautiful imagery. I loved your use of colors and that bit with the kissing the tube. It manages to express a lot for so little words.

he’ll run the risk of drowning on his continuously dissolving lungs.
EEK. :shudder: evil, I tell you.