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| fiction by cereza 2008-10-11 ch 1,  | abuseLovely. Lovely way of portraying all the characters by showing us their attitude towards Dawn. I liked Buffy here very much, she was very in character and her pleading ("Don't make me analyze this!") was just touching. Spike was brilliant as always. He's the straightforward one, the souless, counciousless creature that doesn't get caught in Scoobies dylemas. He's the only one who can answer Dawn because he names thing as they are... Great story. |
| sandi 2008-06-01 ch 1, anon. | abusepretty good |
| viciousberries 2007-10-19 ch 1, | abuseYou can´t say a question, you ask a question. Your first sentence would work better if it was along the lines of '"Who am I," Dawn asked aloud herself in the empty room.' Things stare back silently or silently stare back, you can't put words between verbs. For the rest, I don't have any comments grammar-wise. Your writing isn't all that thrilling since there only seem to be snippets of conversations that don't link. Try building an actual story instead by writing the actions and thoughts in between. |
| mychemicalromancefreak29 2007-08-28 ch 1, | abuseI really liked it. It was really cute. |
| Scifi-warper 2007-08-13 ch 1, | abuseLOL! What a cute fic! This is why I love Spike. He doesn't go for subtle. He speaks his mind and when he does that's it, no arguement (unless your Buffy). Plus that whole line, "To me, your Dawn. Talkative, pestering, to-cute-for-your-own-good Dawn." was so beautifully sweet. Nice fic! |
| PixieDreamer21 2007-08-06 ch 1, | abuseveryy cute i really liked that |
| Ally-617-luv-tv 2007-08-02 ch 1, | abuseAww, I loved it! That was a very good, very cute oneshot. Made me smile. I loved Spike's response... you played it out very well. Good job. |