|Reviews for Spooksville 26 At Death's Door, Again|
| Sweet Anime Fan 10/17/09 . chapter 8
I really enjoyed your two stories! A few days ago I suddenly got this urge to search for information about the Spooksville books which I read probably 10 years ago now as a kid! And to my delight I've found that there's even fanfics on it now (which weren't available back in the 90s)!
I think the character Amy did seem a bit glorified to me in your first story her being a fairy and immortal, as well as beautiful. But I must say I started to like her much more in this one. Maybe cause you get more of her POV and of course the ending when we find out she's Watch's sister. I guess just knowing that makes you develop affection for her?
The only question I have is probably why you 'know' Cindy/Bryce will get together after Book 24? I was under the impression that the Adam/Cindy/Bryce thing was left quite open-ended?
Otherwise great job on your fics! It's great to revisit my childhood reading Spooksville stories! _
| Raevyan 12/28/07 . chapter 8
You are your own worst enemy, you know.
This story could have been several times worse than it is, possibly to the piont of Wikipedia fame, as we've seen...but it isn't a bad story. As this ending was something you were uncomfortable writing about I think you did it very delicately and respectfully.
I can't remember exactly, but I think you mentioned a while ago you had an idea for 27, but maybe you've had enough now. I know you wished to focus on your own stories too.
Anyway, obviously you said you were done with this story but it's incredibly open ended, and I don't mean the details of Amy's past, but the other details which I'm trying to figure out an answer for. Like...why did Amy accept death so easily, and will she ever remember Watch or her family...etc.
To be honest, if emotional family moments are something you struggle with you should probably force yourself to write it, not necessarily for but for your own growth as a writer. You've got so much ability in other areas of writing it would be a shame if you left that area to suffer.
I realise I haven't actually reviewed the story much in this review, but it's because I can tell by looking at this chapter as a whole that a lot of time has went on adjusting and rewriting, and I honestly think that what you have produced in a good piece of writing with this story.
But do let me know if you're intending to answer my burning questions, one way or another.
| Raevyan 10/14/07 . chapter 7
“You all do not seem to understand the gravity of the situation. There needs to be balance,” Death said.
Not my favourite sentence. Think it needs to have something at the beginning as opposed to 'Death said'. That's just how it feels...don't ask me why. Something to do with it in relation to paragraphs before and after, I think. It just seems to need more.
“Your sister will exist even when she has become maggot food and fertilizes plants. She will still be part of the life cycle, which is technically unending life.”
Oh my god, what an arsehole he is! Oh, even I would have wanted to take a swing at him for that. Good bit of dialogue, though, reads really nicely.
Oh yeah, and I noticed something in this chapter. True to Pike's style, events are shown from Adam's perspective, but at the beginning it is Amy's mind we are in (when we are told she can see the gang standing over here etc) so was that intentional? I'm not sure if this is the first time, but I only noticed it when I was re-reading for mistakes just now. I know we are in her mind in chapter 4, which Pike would do when a character was on their own, but usually if Adam was present we didn't get to know what others were thinking. Attention seeker. :P
Oh, and I already told you that ending kicked ass. I'm always a fan of chapters that end with dialogue. It was great, really, really effective. Go oon...give us the next chapter. I'm looking forward to a nice summing up of things, and a tying up of loose ends.
| Raevyan 10/11/07 . chapter 6
Well, now we know, and I feel better. Even though I kind of guessed, it's good to know for sure. I feel contented.
I noticed a couple of mistakes near the end:
"Watch stared down at her. He was looking at his eyes." (I'm guessing it was supposed to be 'her' eyes.
"Death pointed at Watch. “I won’t let you or your family cheating me!” he yelled."
Death's sentence was confused. But I blame myself for rushing you. I guess I am a bad influence.
Also, you can probably expect another review for this chapter as I'll need to read it again. I always skim the first time round, and I'm sure I'll have something more intelligent to say once I get over all my various emotions... :P
| Raevyan 10/8/07 . chapter 5
Oh man. I sense a climax. Positively going to obsess until chapter 6 appears. But I shall sleep a little easier knowing all will soon be revealed. I understand why this chapter annoyed you. It had to end somewhere, and I'm not too sure how I would have got it from A to B either.
Adam and Watch's little conversation was quite touching. Especially because Watch expressed a desire to actually tell Adam what was going on, which he had never done before. It was really sweet, and amazingly it seemed to fit within the boundries you set yourself; Pike's style. I re-read it, and it's so endearing. Both characters, you could sense the strength of their friendship, and you did it all in so few words...Aww. Well done.
“You’re too late; he’s lost his mind and is heading there himself,” Sally explained.
I laughed and laughed! So brilliantly Sally. I also liked your wee description of her through Adam's eyes, about how she tried to stall them from going to the graveyard etc. You have an ability to make me fall for the characters all over again.
Looking forward to chapter six,
| Raevyan 10/7/07 . chapter 4
I'll say this with the hopes that it'll answer most of your questions; this is the first time in both stories that I've *liked* Amy. I certainly feel much more sympathy towards her situation, but then, you always do when allowed into a character's head. But why was Amy so uncaring about whether she lived or died? For someone who's deepest desire was immortality...or did she just feel that whatever part she may have had was fulfilled when she died for Watch? I found it very sad she so easily accepted that the witch had used her and that she had always been disposable.
Anyway, as she appeared more likeable that would probably rule out your fears over whether or not you were glorifying her etc. And yes, you successfully displayed a lot more of her character. You're too hard on yourself.
* "Another big question that would go unanswered was the reason for Watch’s behaviour towards her. "
I realise this is from Amy's POV when everything appears lost, but all I want to say is - IT BLOODY BETTER NOT GO UNANSWERED! I will find you!
Oh, I also really liked the very first sentence of the chapter, because it gave me flashbacks of all the endless Spooksville chapters which started out in a similar way.
Hope the next chapters come easier, actually GIDDY about getting to the end of this one. -
| Raevyan 9/24/07 . chapter 3
“She’s immortal!” Sally argued, throwing up her hands. *
Watch, who had been silent, suddenly spoke up. “Yeah, well, if the Grim Reaper going after her is any indication, she can.”
* I'm guessing Sally was supposed to say "she can't die" or something, going by Watch's reply. That's the only mistake I've seen so far, so looking forward to next chapter.
You know you've got my interest. I don't need to tell you.
| Raevyan 9/14/07 . chapter 2
Now, I've been run up the wall recently with work and my new course and family stuff, which is why I haven't gathered my thoughts enough to comment on the ending of you last story yet...
I have got to say that I'm so, so, SO excited about this new story! Because it feeds my appatite for Watch stories, mostly, but also because Return of the Dead was one of my favourite books. The whole Death thing was so deep to me, I didn't even really get it the first time I read it as a child. I'm so glad he's back in this story (if that IS what's going on, it's early chapters after all).
So. Don't torture me too much! I appreciate it's that time of year again when uni swallows up our lives,but if it helps, my sanity is at stake.
Ps. I love Watch in this story so far, because he hasn't said much which is totally in character, but I believe everything that's there, if you get my meaning...And when are you going to tell me why Amy looked familiar to Watch? :P