 KingdomKey23 8/14/07 . chapter 1Hey, guys. Good job on the story, it's not bad. There were a lot of funny moments in it. XD Like Ron's pants falling down, and Vlad's reactions to it, or Fry breaking the fourth wall as a flashback occured. There were some grammatical, punctual and capital errors, but overall not bad. The one thing I have to say though is I'm against the use of breaking into song in a written story, but since you two are my pals I'll let it slide this time. Good luck, guys. I can't wait to see who the Dentist is.
Key19 |