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| lynn42693 2007-10-01 ch 3,  | abuseWhoa, this is getting really interesting. I hope you update soon. |
| Kohaku Kawa 2007-09-09 ch 3, | abuseGood chapter. Mostly well written. Just a couple of things though: When you write "I mean," it's distracting from the point of view you're trying to write because nothing else in first person. You should either cut it out or write in first person. "now currently" in the sentence "this sensei who was now currently a waste of time." is redundant because now and currently mean the same thing. You should pick one. -_- wow my crit is so long. I hope it isn't too picky! This story has a good idea behind it, I hope you keep writing. If my crit is too long and/or picky just let me know and I'll lay off. k? |
| sonicwind123 2007-09-07 ch 3, | abuseinteresting, the breaks are odd, and the chapters are short, but has potential as an idea, oh and if you want to know why they care called Sennin, it is in the last chapter of Naruto. |
| Kohaku Kawa 2007-08-23 ch 2, | abuseNIce. I haven't seen too many about this moment in their lives. I like that it's from all of the POVs and that you separate them so clearly. There thoughts seem somewhat shallow though, well mostly just Orochimaru and that's probably because he's so distant to start with. so yeah, good job. |
| LePyro 2007-08-17 ch 2, | abuseHey this is good so far, i love stories that fill in characters past's and so far you've done a great job, continue! :D |
| Kisshu's Humble Servant 2007-08-08 ch 2, | abuseomg update! I wanna see more of Tsunade's past XP |