I really like this story so far. I mean the characters that you have created are so good. I can't wait for you to write another chapter. I think that it is a good beginning and I wonder about the direction that it is going in.

Good story so far. You need to work on your spelling and technical details, but the story line is well thought out. I look forward to reading the rest of this.

You might try finding a beta reader for this. I think there is a section on the site.

you seriously have GOT to update this!
tis really good!

oh no its so good! please write more soon