this is a ** story ** you you suck

wow thats intense. hope you update

wow... crazy kim...

I'd say its going awesomely so far!
PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!

So, I'm kinda torn here...

On the one hand, you're a friggin' amazing writer. There are not many stories that make me physically cringe, but yours has made me do so many times over, in all the right ways.

Not only that, but your plot is frighteningly plausible. Adding the tiny real-world references like the .50-cal Desert Eagle really makes the story seem that much more realistic.

I find absolutely no flaws in your actual writing, to be honest. And based on some stuff you've posted at the Slash Haven, I can tell we agree on many things about writing.

And yet, I find myself utterly unable to buy your story.

I can see *a* teen heroine who's had the same *experiences* as Kim Possible doing the things you've described in your story. But I just can't see *Kim* doing them. She's too strong. Frankly, I think Kim is a real hero. She can get stressed out; she can be pushed to the brink and even over it; she can lie, cheat, steal, even kill. But to me, the difference between a hero and everybody else is simply this: a real hero doesn't give up. They don't give in, even when they probably should. And that's what Kim does in this story. She gives up.

Why do I think that? One word: Bonnie. In your story, Bonnie is strung up by her pom-poms after being murdered by Kim. Now, I could buy Kim killing all the other villains. But Bonnie, whatever her faults, is an innocent. She's "high-school evil," as Kim once put it, and that does not equate to justifiable homicide in my book. No, Bonnie's murder was personal. It was revenge. And revenge is just another way of giving up. I think that when one wreaks vengeance, personal vengeance, that's just like saying "I give up," but with a bodycount. That's giving in to that little voice in the back of one's head that whispers "It would be so much easier if you never had to hear the wife nag you again, wouldn't it?" And I understand that. That's a perfectly natural emotion. Even heroes always have it in the back of their minds.

But heroes don't give in. The world can s**t all over them, and they will STILL save it, because they CAN'T let the bastards win, no matter how much they want to. You and me? We'd say "screw it." And that's fine. But heroes don't.

Now, I realize you wrote this to satiate plot bunnies, and you may very well agree with everything I'm saying about heroes and whatnot. Furthermore, I think the story is great; near-perfect, actually.

But I just can't buy the Kim presented here. Because Kim Possible is a hero. And heroes make the world safe from REAL villains, not just people they don't like.

Sorry if I came off all PSA/schoolmarmish/"Winners Don't Use Drugs." But I just feel strongly about this.

I will still eagerly await your next story, because, as I said, you are an amazing writer. I'm just telling you why this one didn't quite work for me personally.

Friends? :)

Drowning deep in my sea of loathing
Broken your servant I kneel
(Will you give in to me?)
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing in me
(Will you give in to me?)

Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes (oh no)
There is no turning back now
You've woken up the demon in me

Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate and let it flow into me

Get up, come on get down with the sickness
You mother get up come on get down with the sickness
You f*cker get up come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift that has been given to me

-Disturbed, "Down With The Sickness"

--

I've always admired your ability to create horrifically disturbing, yet incredibly cathartic scenes of violence. It's something I've never quite had the stomach to do, but you pull it off effortlessly and make it a blast to read. I was cringing through most of this chapter, it was that good.

I love your take on Evil Kim. Or rather, psychotic Kim. I find it simply amazing that you were able to keep her in the role of the protagonist while still having her commit all of these atrocities. I feel sorry for Shego, but I can't help reveling in the destruction caused by this new, uninhibited Kim. Maybe it's because I'm a sadist, I don't know. *shrugs* I guess it's because I'm eager to see just where this path leads her, and if she can ever go back to the way she was before.

Poor, poor Shego. She's the character with whom I identify most, so what Kim did to her has me **. She didn't deserve that. All of her attempts on Kim's life were one degree or more removed; it was really nothing personal. Perhaps that is what makes the fact that Kim shot her through the heart with her grappling hook that makes me so angry at her. But I also understand that what happened was crucial to the plot development. I just hope this isn't the last we've seen of Shego.

Bonnie, on the other hand... I was literally laughing when I read what Kim did to her. Stringing her up by her own pompons was deliciously ironic. She may not have deserved it, but I feel no pity for the **. And Lucre... lol. Maybe I'm just messed up, I dunno. *shrugs*

Looking forward to the next chapter, whenever you get around to writing it.

beeftony

** ** in hell now this is what you call a dark kim story . Dude you should of had ron join in on the fun you could of had drakken send an L.D. to rons house and kill his rents and then man oh man ron would flip have ron turn the L.B. evil and unlock his true potential in the most evilest way . Aww cuz I just got me a story to be puttin on paper woohoo
Well im outty
DRIFTA

Ok kim went thermo nuclear please say there is more

no you must continue. ah well I do hope you return shortly, I can't wait to read more of this twisted Kim. Nice little bit of KiGo there.

"If you want peace, prepare for war."

Always been a favorite of mine really and you have Kim exemplifying it to the max. What will Ron do? Call the Blade and his power to stop her in her tracks? I can't wait to see how you handle this from here on in, after all, she only has so many villains to kill before she turns on the rest of us...

KIM! "She's insane in the membrain"- :)

wao evil kim heeh well written..keep writing i cant wait :)

nice. I'm always up for a dark kim story. Keep it up I wanna hear more.

I think maybe the amount of swearing was a bit over the top for a character that barely utters a "darn" most of the rest of her life(trust me, cursing is just as hard a habit to get into as it is to break)... but other than that, excellent work. I'm awaiting more.

She lost it and you wrote it VERY well. Can't wait to see Ron's reaction. I don't think a real person would have went that far but I can see Kim having a VERY negative emotional reaction to Erik, something most people overlook.