This was a great story! Keep up the good work:)

It was my pleasure to read your work. The twins are two of my favorite LOTR characters and I was quite upset at their 'removal' from the movies.

I really liked how you brought real life issues to their story, which brought out a lot of feeling in the tale.

That was so moving and beautiful, mellon nin. Your story shook me to my very core. If you ever need to talk, you know where I am. God bless. *big hug*

2 Timothy 1:7 "God has not given us the spirit of fear;

but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Nice work, love, no doubt about it! There is an authentic tang to your depiction of depression that will strike a chord with many readers - would like to discuss that further. The relationships are well-rendered and your prose is very good.

I like the idea of sneaking Bible references in - in fact I encourage it, but strictly speaking, we shouldn't use our stories to spread the Good Word in as direct a manner as you are. Suggest you do stuff like that on your profile - maybe by having a note at the end of the chapter directing people to your profile for the mini quiz. Some people get a bit funny about that sort of thing, you see.

Anyway, I hope you find my comments helpful, and I look forward to seeing more of your work.

Beautiful darling...you know I would have proofread it for you. In fact, I did find some mustakes, dearest...but the overall story was wonderful (and you know where to find me if you ever need to talk).

*huggles*

Tira