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| Psycho Tangerine 2008-09-14 ch 1,  | abuseI really like this take on that episode. I guess this was before Mack knew he was an android. Maybe he couldn't get through the forcefield because of his android body. |
| Tyjet Ansatsu 2007-09-06 ch 1, | abusenice. love the whole sarcasm thing you had going on there. |
| angellwings 2007-08-30 ch 1, | abuseThat was cute, lol, I've been waiting for some one to write this. You did a really good job! ;) angellwings |
| Fanfictionlover 2007-08-20 ch 1, anon. | abuseCan you write d=some more that was good. I love the ending |
| Destiny45 2007-08-13 ch 1, | abuseI like how you used the actual dialogue from the episode and made Dax so movie obsessed (that was really funny!), but unfortunately, that was about all I liked about this one-shot. I found Mack's bitterness and sarcasm out-of-character, not to mention we saw from the episode he was clearly NOT in a bad mood when he went on the picnic, of if anything, he was thinking about his dad, not Rose and Tyzonn being gone. Also, I just thought Mack asking the Sentinel Knight of all people about Tyzonn having a crush on Rose was just not realistic. I think what bothered me the most though was Rose's line at the end how she kept imagining how much worse she would feel if it was Mack lying on the ground hurt instead of Tyzonn. I think that selfishness in Rose was out of line. I would hope Rose would care about her friends enough to hope that one would not get hurt over the other! Mayb she would be more heartbroken if Mack was gone, but I would hope she would bare the suffering equally if any of her friends got hurt. I do enjoy a lot of your writing, but this was one story I just did not think worked well. |
| MarineFlyer86 2007-08-12 ch 1, | abuseplease continue and update soon i love this story i hope mack and rose gettogether awsome story update soon |
| jfkpommie09 2007-08-12 ch 1, | abusevery cute, gotta love fluff |
| luneress 2007-08-12 ch 1, | abuseMack is such a clutz. But a cute one. I liked this story. And your right, it does seem like he has a crush on her in the episode. I hope there's more. I think I know who walks in on them... |