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| I Walk For Robert Frost 2008-06-15 ch 8,  | abuseIts very interesting. I wonder, when he leaves, if Annabel will come...update soon! |
| Nat-y2k2 2008-01-11 ch 9, | abuseI really like your story, the general idea is a good one it brings up lots of ideas, such as the third dragon egg and whether it would go to her |
| xxBrokenHeartsBrokenDreamsx... 2007-12-26 ch 7, | abuseHey :) new reader, and Gold you have an excellent plot going, but I have one question. Since Annabelle is 11, well is it possible? I thought that Selena died when Eragon was one.. so shouldn't she be 15? Lol of course its your story so you could do whatever, but I think it would clear it up to write a chappie about Annabelle's past. ~Broken |
| Snowfur 2007-10-09 ch 6, | abuseWhat did Eragon say at the last part? It was good besides that, though. |
| Snowfur 2007-09-10 ch 5, | abuseIt was short but good. PLEASE UPDATE!! |
| Snowfur 2007-08-27 ch 4, | abuseOMG! That was good! Please update! |
| Snowfur 2007-08-22 ch 3, | abuseThe chapter was pretty good! UPDATE! |
| Lady Sardonyx 2007-08-14 ch 2, | abuseDear GoldxxSunlight, Your story has many grammatical errors. When someone is talking "like this,” then the sentence ends with a comma, question mark or exclamation mark. There are also many places in which you can insert a comma to make the flow better. Example: “Annabelle, wake up quick! The deer are back,” (in the first chapter) Try not to switch between points of views. It confuses the reader and annoys them. Don't forget to look over it again before you post. This story has potential. Just don't forget about the grammar. Try not to make Annabelle too Mary Sue-like or cliché. ~/Reaper/~ |
| bonnythebunny 2007-08-14 ch 1, | abuseRight. So, if Eragon has no idea who his father is, and is his mother died right after his birth, how the heck did Annabelle come to be? Oh, and I doubt that Eragon, guy who practically lived in the medieval times, used the word 'HECK'. |
| Vixen Hood 2007-08-14 ch 2, | abuseNice chapter. There really wasn't anything to correct. Please Update soon. Signed, V.H. |
| Snowfur 2007-08-14 ch 2, | abuseONG! Please update! |
| 3rd clss rckstr 2007-08-13 ch 1, | abuseI like the beginning of this. It sounds like it'll be interesting. Please update soon! ;) P.S. I like Talor Swift! ;) |
| Vixen Hood 2007-08-13 ch 1, | abuseThis is cool. I can see potental in your writing. My only concern is that you need to read through your writing and make sure grammar and spelling is correct. When Anabelle is packing up, you say "Eragon had already gone so I started to pick up camp when she saw a flash of blue light in the direction Eragon went." You wrote part of the sentence in first person, and the other part (like the rest of the story) in third. But beside that, I think this plot has some potental and I hope that you update soon. Signed, V.H. |