|Reviews for The One Who Makes Him Smile|
| xAnonx 4/26/08 . chapter 1
Well, I felt like reading this story again, because I had a vague recollecction of how spiffy it was.
IT'S STILL REALLY GOOD! I'm reviewing the first chappie because I can't review the last one again, but I just read the whole story in about 15 minutes, and it was awesome. Good job:)
| Eevee 4/22/08 . chapter 6
Much as I love Ayaka in the manga, I tend to not be very fond of the fandom's presentation of her. It is partially due to the heavy bias towards her anime incarnation, which I frankly found to be dull at best, annoyingly sullen at worst, and no matter what, a far cry from her cheerier manga self. The other thing is how 95% of what you see of Ayaka in fanfic is as Hiro's Token Girlfriend, when her canon presence is far tighter tied to Shuichi and Yuki.
So I can only applaud you for taking her and writing her story in a way that isn't just surprisingly insightful, but also very, very captivating. The depth added here doesn't only involve Ayaka herself - her perception of Shuichi and Bad Luck, of Eiri and the entire Uesugi clan is truly some of the best I have seen in the fandom. I absolutely adored how you managed to bring out that friendly, earest side of Shuichi which most people only see worth mentioning in connection to Yuki but was so very evident in how he treated Ayaka during the whole encounter.
But the best part of it has got to be that you took anime!Ayaka and turned her into a vivid, smart and LIKEABLE character. This story is really something I think this fandom has needed for a long time, and you did it wonderfully. Thanks you :)
| JenEvan 9/21/07 . chapter 6
Aww...the ending...guess i really was away for pretty long.
Continuing from cahpter 5 to 6(end),I can see the development of Ayaka;how she had finally have a grasp of things happening,how she come to realise everything and finally face and handle them you did not turn her into a perfect goddess even thou she made a self-sacrifice and give up Eiri that's the part I like Aside from that,you portrayed her well as the mature,well-mannered woman she is as she come to terms with her feelings for Hiro. That,I salute a character in-character can be challenging.
Another thing I like here is that you did not attempt to antagonise anyone;not even Mika or is what there are for a little scene of Tohma and Mika is the cutest,IMO
Thanks for this scrumptious treat
| kew 9/13/07 . chapter 6
this is really good.. it's nice to see yuki n shuichi's relationship from a 'rival' point of view..
| noonsam 9/11/07 . chapter 6
Wow! What a wonderful story, I can't believe Real Life kept me from reading each chapter as they were posted cuz I was missing out!
I love your Ayaka, you have captured her voice and her personality perfectly and your take on events fit so seamlessly into the canon line that its like they were there already. You have proven that she truly deserves happiness with Hiro. Go get him Ayaka!
I especially liked the scene during the concert, I can just see the look on Eiri's face as he watches his Shu on stage. (fans self)
This is one of the best fics out there and I hope to see more of your work! Great job!
| xAnonx 9/11/07 . chapter 6
Awesome job! Why couldn't you make it longer? Anyways, write more stories soon!
| supershu-chan 9/11/07 . chapter 6
I read this early this morning, before heading off to school. It took me a while to get the silly smile off my face.
So well done.
I agree with Xedra's comment about how Ayaka kind of reads between the lines...she doesn't really know what's happening, but she has clues. It's really cool. Ayaka's so mature and understanding here, she's such a young woman. I really can't tell you how well you pulled everything off. I love the sweet and shy and almost flirty Hiro...just so CUTE.
And Eiri. -squeal- That is all. D
The last line is definitely my favorite. It makes me smile! That sounds like a lame pun, but it's true! There is one thing, however, that I may have not liked about this story...
I wish it had more chapters. D:
I hope to see more multi-chapter projects from you! You're very, very talented! Keep up the excellent work, and congrats on a successful completion! LOVE!
| Xedra 9/11/07 . chapter 6
What a wonderful ending! I really love how Ayaka's little observations clue us int to what else has happened in the story (the bruises and scratches on Shu, Eiri's softer look, etc). I like where you ended this, too, leaving things very hopeful for Ayaka and Hiro.
I enjoyed this story so much! Definitely a favorite. :D
| Xedra 9/4/07 . chapter 5
I am in love with this story! It continues to captivate. I can't wait for the next chapter!
| snowwhite4444 9/3/07 . chapter 5
Oh wow...That was just... wow. Easily the most gripping fic I've read in months. It's beautifully written, captures the essence of the characters perfectly and is from a little-acknowledged viewpoint. I think anyone who has ever loved someone that didn't love them back can really understand the feeling behind this. Plus the way you described Eiri at the concert was brilliant.
| supershu-chan 9/3/07 . chapter 5
Okay, so, I just let out an "Aww" that lasted for about half a minute. You can ask my sister, she's right here. I interrupted her TV watching. XD
Oh my gosh, um...I actually had an intelligent review forming in my mind while I was reading this, but now...you have completely turned me into Fangirl Brand Jello. Oh my gosh. I love you! X3
The end there was so well-done. Like, seriously. I cannot believe someone wrote something like that without making it totally OOC. It was awesome! I also like Ayake being riveted by Hiro's guitar solos...kind of like, though she doesn't realize it, the way Eiri is enjoying Shu's performance. Which was SO well done. D:
Also, I'd kind of always wondered how it had gotten to be that Ayaka ended up going to eat with Hiro after the show, and Shuichi had gone home to Eiri. Thank you so much for filling in the blanks there! It was really well-done, I think. I love the awkwardness between Shu and Ayaka. And she's so cute with Hiro.
And lastly, I'm not sure why, but Tohma lying in his wife's arms just struck me as so especially beautiful. He's just one of those characters that never seems vulnerable at all, you know? It's kind of like...a peek into his private life, or something. But omg. I was just sitting there with chills for a moment before I could read on.
You are SO good.
And this review is getting really long...I'm sorry! Um, thank you for another amazing installment and I happily await the next one!
| Sun-above-LA 9/3/07 . chapter 5
Dearest...I am totally out of my breath and deep on my knees giving You all my this is one of the most beautiful, ever-so-gently written story that makes me believe that happy endings and simple happiness do really exist.I am amazed by the way of Your writing..slightly sad but with a strong faith in good things going luck.
| xAnonx 9/2/07 . chapter 5
Aww... Great chappie! Update soon!
| Overskill 9/2/07 . chapter 5
A truly wonderful journey into the mind of Ayaka. Sorry I couldn't review each chapter as it came out, but RL hasn't been kind to me.
Anyway, I love your style. More and more, as I re-read it all, I fall in love with your elegant and measured pace, your apparent simplicity that frames layers upon layers of meaning and demands that readers think.
We seem to view Ayaka - and Gravitation, though I think that the anime is a kind of very well done fanfction from the manga - in the same way. She's intelligent and, though a dreamer, practical enough not to waste her life in pursuit of the unattainable. She's also generous enough to do it gracefully. And, as you slyly point out here:
"But as it was, one might as well hate a cat for killing birds or a slug for eating cabbage – they did what they had to do, what they could not stop doing without becoming something they were not."
she's also gently malicious, a thing that endears her to me a lot - I'm allergic to sugar ;)
In other words, fantastic fic for which no manner of praise would be too much. Thank you.
| Vindalootoo 9/2/07 . chapter 4
I love the way you've taken a small scene, (Ayaka and Yuki before the concert) which truly was pivotal, but so understated, and made it Important using nothing more than Ayaka's insightful people-watching analysis.
The concert is luscious. Only one comment, reading it this way...I think Ayaka's final "Eiri-san?" gets, frankly, in the way. If you take that out, the description of Eiri's tone of voice is properly connected to his words and the punchline is stronger.
Other than that, beautiful.