I usually not one for first person POV stories, but this one is pretty good.You need to look out for two things though.

The first is what is Emily doing at the yard, does she live there? You haven't explained how or why she's there. The second is that you need a better way to separate what's happening in the past from what is going on in the present.

Other than those two things,it looks good and I want to know what happens next.

O_O
You NEED to finish this story. It's AWSOME. I love it 2 death! You can't end it like this.

Love the story, your doing a good job. Keep it up =]

Razor was always my favorite.

it hard to stop reading this story exciting

This is great so far! I like the inner battle of Jake, its something different! I hope you continue soon!

*Yay! First review for the chapter! Ahem, on to the review.*

Oh, I love this story! I feel sorry for the Enforcers at the moment, and I REALLY feel sorry for Razor. Poor guy. Update soon, please! I must know what happens to Emily and Razor. I really do love this story.

Luff,
Hezzah-chan

The storyline is very promising so far, and though I don't recall any Emily from the canon she isn't disturbing the situation like some OCs may do.

To add a little contstructive criticism though, I really think that you should cut down on the ellipses. They are good for tension and pauses when used sparingly, but used too much they break the flow of the text and make it seem like everyone has breathing problems.

just when the guy chers up, viper.
great story and excellet 1st person perspective.

I've been following this and am enjoying it very much. Can't wait to see what happens ^^

Very exciting!

Great and awesome fanfic! I tottally love it! I don't think Chance will be angry, but Jake will feel guilty anyway.. Can't see what will happen next so update soon please! ;) V.

I love you...nuff said... :)

Wow this is so good can't wait until you update.
Keep up the good work

OMG can hardly wait for the next chapter!

SWAT KATZ RULE!