Ooh, I liked the scene where Cecil rescued Rosa- Kain's thoughts seemed really poignant there.

-"Damn the man. Why did he have to be so bloody accepting?" I really like this sentence. It illustrates Kain's frustration/jealousy of his friend very well.

I also like the pretty language when you're describing the sunset and comparing it to the blood Kain will shed.

One thing I'd work on is thinking more about where you do and don't put italics. During the flashback scenes, some of Kain's thoughts were in italics (thus part of the flashback) and some of them weren't, but they were all present reflections on past events: they all should have been in the same time frame. I know this is nitpicky of me, but every little nitpick helps next time around, right?

FF4 forevermore!