| Reviews for The Lost Sapphire |
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34434343 9/26/07 . chapter 2 Lame |
Kimmiko 9/26/07 . chapter 4 Wow. It started out really nice and then kinda sagged. You didn't have enough information in the beginning. It was just sort of BAM, suddenly Hermione is someone else..? And I didn't bother reading the rest of the chapters. It DOES have some real potential, you just need to have more in your writing. I like the name, and I LOVE the concept, you just rush through it and it's kind of disappointing. |
peanut18 8/30/07 . chapter 1 You've got a very intersting story plot! Just as a suggestion from one writer to the other, however, I think you should add a little more meat to you writing. Show instead of tell. Readers love a good mouthful of delicious imagery. I think the name Sapphire is really creative and definately has the potential for a rich back story. |
rayon.de.soleil 8/29/07 . chapter 3you havn't really explained anything and you seemed to suddenly start calling her sapphire when she is clearly still hermione. you could have just made up an OC if you wanted riddle to get with this sapphire girl. if you'd spent more time with hermione having dreams about sapphire then the big swap thing could have been slightly more believable. and wtf is up with draco? suddenly he's asking her to meet up with him in secret and telling her he'll marry her if she's pregnant and hermy's all 'm...k!', not at all phased by her enemy comforting her etc. also, about the author's notes. please stop with that. if people are clicking on M rated stories they most probably aren't interested in hearing about how it ain't that great the first time you have sex. just keep your opinions out of your stories and if you want, you can do an author's note AT THE END. x |
jjp91 8/20/07 . chapter 1hmm, interesting... although I'm a little confused about what exactly is going on... update soon |
volleyballbabe 8/18/07 . chapter 1 This is a great beginning for a story that I think will have some real potential. Keep on writing! |