Actually, I hear tell Makoto wanted to run a flower shop. In the special episode of the live action version, she achieves this. But whatever, you have artistic liberties here.

Good job on your diction. You know how to emote with your words, and not a lot of people can do that properly, as so many of us are beginners. Not bad.

I enjoyed this positive vision of Crystal Tokyo, where Mako and girls retain their personalities--all too often in fanfic it is painted as a grim affair, of giving up dreams and hopes and those fics are interesting and captivating too, but every now and then, it is nice to have a vision of hope.

Just one typo, you forgot the word "sat" in the sentence: "She up straight in the high-backed chair"

Wow. Very well done. Makoto's nervousness really came through. Her feelings when she resolved it, too. The last line really clinched it all.

One question: Usagi wanted to crown them again? Does that mean they had already been crowned? Or they had yet to be crowned in this time? It was a little unclear in my first read. I think I've figured it out now, though. ^-^'

Keep writing!

beautiful.

wonderful characterization.

Very well written chapter. Wonderful character exploration. I can see Makoto being very restless without trouble to take care of.

I've enjoyed reading what you have so far. Keep up the good work. ^-^

Very dark scene, this was. I liked it, though. The warning at the beginning of the chapter was perfectly placed. I was worried when I saw 'profanity', but you didn't have Jupiter cussing randomly or anything-- it was out of pure frustration at the monster and herself for getting injured. Great job, overall!

Poor Makoto. The idea that she wore her earings as badges of grief and identity was cool and thought provoking (for me Xp), though it was a bit unusual to see her starting to tell Usagi her parents' story. Somehow, I see her sparing Usagi the details by stopping after the 'present from my mother' part.

I liked the focus on Makoto's physical feelings and the descriptions of her movements at the start of this chapter. I could totally hear those cicadas!

A little description of her sensei would have been nice. His looks weren't key to the story at all, but a word or two would have been nice. Was he the same martial artist as in the series?

I really liked this chapter. The imagery was spot-on in most places, and the feeling of what that snatch of memory was like to Makoto came through crystal clear.

The 'fizzling' rain made me think of pop-rocks. ^-^'

Interesting that she shies away from the idea of fully becoming Sailor Jupiter; I would have thought she'd look forward to it-- all the power would give her strength to defend her friends.

Wow... this was really deep... It was great!

I'm not sure why this doesn't have more reviews. I guess people are more attracted to romance, even if it's written sloppily, than honest in-depth looks at the characters. Makoto isn't honestly one of my favorites, but it's always nice to step back and take a look at each of the Senshi because they're all unique, lovingly crafted characters. I can't wait to read more about Makoto, and perhaps you'll do some introspective looks at a few more of the Senshi? *hint*Minako*hint*

interesting view on Makoto and Sailor Jupiter, making them two not one as well as her determination as a person. interesting indeed. would like to read more.