I think there are a handful of us that use the Plaga as a plot device, whether the side effects are sex, hearing music, or seeing "auras", the Plaga are useful little buggars aren't they? LOL.

Anyway, I did notice that multi-chapter fic you had but I decided to hit this one first since it was kinky and contained a scenario that I enjoyed reading immensely. Sometimes I do like a helpless and defiant Leon, well, okay, all the time; but an author must do it right. In this case, Salazar was pretty much IC as was Leon. The whole story is a guilty pleasure, but since this was a gift fic, of course it would be ;)

I like the way you handled Leon's reactions and Salazar's greedy, and dominate persona. Interesting switch on the positions too, and even though Leon was top, he still was bottom. LOL. Meanie!

Now for the crit. You knew it was coming!

You have some passive voice issues, and while it's a stylistic technique, most of the time active voice is better. Take this:

>Blue eyes were hidden behind fluttering lids as the agent dreamed, probably due to, and about, the Plaga inside him.

Which active would read: (and I took some liberty in cleaning up that sentence)

- Fluttering lids hid the Agent's blue eyes as he dreamed the strange dreams all Plaga sent to their hosts. (or something more in your voice)

And Adverbs. Every ly word you use, you cheat your prose from showing. Adverbs label and tell the reader what to perceive.

>Salazar cautiously reached out a hand, tucking a lock behind the agent's ear and letting his fingers trace over a smooth cheek.

Strong nouns, verbs are the way to go 99% of the time.

- Salazar paused before he reached and tucked a lock behind the agent's ear and traced his finger over a smooth cheek.

There was no need for cautiously since I put paused. I also omitted some other words that cluttered up that sentence.

Also, pronouns. When saying "the Agent" instead of Leon's name, it should be capitalized. However, Leon's name is always better, or simply "he".

End sentence: He sat back, satisfied, listening to the American beginning to sob.

Nix that past progressive "ing" word and instead:

- He sat back, satisfied, and listened as the American began to sob.

Now the verbs are parallel and it reads better.

Overall, a joy to read and I'll be adding it to my fave list. :)

M

Wow. That was actually pretty fuckin funny. I know it probably wasn't supposed to be.

Let me explain. Rape of course isn't funny but the fact that it happened to a dick like Leon just cracks me up. Plus Salazar is really short!

Plus I can hear Salazar's twisted laugh right now!

The only reason this is funny is because it could only happen to Leon. Or maybe even Steve.

I'm gonna go ahead and I say I like this story. To be honest I have never read yaoi before. Not really my taste but this is different!

I hate Leon even though RE 4 was cool. He's really stupid if he thinks Ada will ever love him!

Do you have a favorite RE character?


If I had to pick one it would be Chris because he fights Wesker even though Wesker would wipe the floor with him. That's great.

Oh in case you did not know, Resident Evil 5 is coming out soon. Real soon! If they don't pair up Chris and Jill, I will be so pissed!

They would go good together.

Oh hey I know a little Spanish but what does amor mean?

This was great. You should write another chapter. Keep up the good work!

Very well written 8,D...


"Aw, and eventually Leon will grow to love his short master because Salazar is just lovable.^^"


Lol, I agree. It would be kinda cheesy, but hell... it'd be really nice as well >XD. More Salazar-yaoi for the people!

Hm. I thought I had reviwed this...
Oh well.
It's excellent.
A bit kinky, as well, and that suits Salazar perfectly XD
You write excellent and your description is flawless.

Aw, and eventually Leon will grow to love his short master because Salazar is just lovable.^^

Jesus Christ!! That was gross, but I felt I had to read on. And it was kinda funny. Poor Leon...

It's well written. Disturbing but then that's what it is, and I enjoyed it. An interesting pairing. Would love to see a follow up of this with Leon murdering the bastard, gaining control over the plaga - that would make my day.

Thanks for sharing.

Haw, Haw.
RAPE!

Really good lemon. That was way IC. I don't even like salazar aka child looking molester :P but when I see a unsual pairing eps. yaoi, I just got to read it. I didn't care for the end when Leon was a cry baby bitch. I think the lemon would have been better if leon eye's were going to and from blue to orange. On a level he would continue b/c of lust, and it would make things a bit more interesting...okay. take care!

Like I even need so say it but I will anyway:

*giggle, twitch, humps leg*

You get the point I'm sure. But I love how even in my absence my influence still lives on. *sigh* Oh how I loved this sexy little number.

But weirdly enough, I was planning on a collar of sorts being in "Well, Isn't That Special". You a mind reader or something? LOL

Oh. My. God. Actually, I really liked it. You actually have some concept of grammar and style, unlike most of the other RE4 fanfic writers that seem to have spawned recently.

It was sick. It was disturbing, and sad (especially the last sentence, which made me want to cry), but it was beautifully written. Kudos on grabbing a rather unusual pairing by the balls and making it your bitch! Good show, old bean!

I really really didn't want to read it. But I couldn't help myself, I found something sickly fascinating with the thought of this pair. It was good in a weird-sick kinda way. ^^