Reviews for Diablo: The Wayward Path

Reviews For: Diablo: The Wayward Path

Dragon's Assistant 2008-07-22 ch 4,	abuseThis story is very well written and I believe it will become a favorite should you continue. If you are in need of a proof-reader for grammatical and spelling errors I am also a Beta reader. By the way, I enjoyed the scuffle between Argus and Cyn.
Wassim Badr 2008-01-02 ch 4, anon.	abuseSERIOUSLY... THIS IS AN AWESOME STORY! I just finished readin this at 5 AM in the morning because it was so captivating... please come up with a new chapter ASAP... GREAT JOB!
Emmelyn Cindy Mah 2007-11-17 ch 4,	abuseWow. That was quite a wait. But well worth it. ^.^ Alright, there are some mistakes that I'd managed to pick out. I'll show em' to you first.. Argus went to move forward, only to find the sorceress hand in fact thrust her hands forward, though she had no intent to surrender. The ensuing blast of energy was just enough to throw Argus off his feet and send his sword sprawling across the ground, but did little else. I think this sentence might have a typo in it? Maybe, 'only to find that the sorceress HAD in fact...'? And this part. Plucking a small tulip from the garden and letting its glorious pollens tickle his nose, the paladin tried to calm himself. 'Pollens' sounds incorrect. I think the correct word would be 'pollen', because the word itself is its own plural form. I grew up learning English by listening and speaking, and I didn't learn from books and all--I couldn't tell a noun from an adjective if you asked me to. I might be right, and I might be wrong, but pollens sounds wrong. ^.^ Alright, to the actual review. I like how Cyn has blossomed somewhat. At first, she seemed rather flat--like all regular sorceresses, misunderstood, arrogant, and self-assured. But Cyn seems somewhat different this chapter; more cocky somehow, but in an oddly endearing sort of way. I also like her bantering with Argus--very amusing! Poor Argus. Being beaten down by a girl at least half his size must be very depressing for his ego! All in all, good job! Keep em' coming! ^.^ ~Emmy
Tel Loiryn 2007-11-17 ch 4,	abuseGood humor mixed in, definitely. I really liked these: “You’re far too righteous for that” Cyn said. “But apparently you’re also cowardly enough to draw steel against a poor, innocent woman. What does that say about your manhood?” “It speaks volumes about my intelligence, for you are neither poor, nor innocent” Argus said. “Insults will not further your cause.” “They sure do make me feel better though” the sorceress mused. “I see one problem with your options” Argus said. “Cyn, huh? Makes sense considering the multiple sins you committed” the paladin spoke more to himself then anyone. I was laughing so hard at that last one too, did you have the homophone idea when you came up with her name? Because if you didn't it's an awesome coincidence. Oh, a few points: 1. Cyn didn't incant anything to teleport, so why cover the mouth? 2. Cyn, mean? Didn't fit the hints I got from the rest of the story about her personality. 3. You could have the paladin go "Ah great, now I won't have to be responsible for not taking you in" when Cyn teleports away, that would have been so hilarious! Well crafted (7/10)
Tel Loiryn 2007-11-15 ch 1,	abuseI second Emmelyn's second comment--Hilarious! All that you need now is for a surprise to force the two to join together instead of fighting each other--but then that'll be predictable. Or you could have Cyn be a felle fatale (or at least seduce the paladin into not fighting her). Or the guards could suddenly decide to come back (also predictable). Or Cyn can win simply because the paladin has no will to fight. Or Cyn can lose simply because she fell for him. At any rate, keep writing! I like the very acute visual imagery. Good diction. Let me guess, this going to be a Cyn+Paladin?
cesmith 2007-08-30 ch 3,	abuseI am enjoying your story very much. Your style of writing flows smoothly and your descriptions of battles, characters and back-drops make for a vivid world. In all the years that I have played Diablo, I've never played as a Paladin. I just might have to correct that omission. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Emmelyn Cindy Mah 2007-08-30 ch 3,	abusegasp No! No! They're going to fight?! No way! Hmph. The captain doesn't sound like a bad man at all. Just dutiful. This is getting interesting. ^.^ I quite love your short chapters--very easy to read in short amounts of time. I eagerly anticipate more of your work! Great job, and thanks for the great read! ~Emmy Cindy
Emmelyn Cindy Mah 2007-08-30 ch 2,	abuse- “I am the Terror that Stalks the Plains, the Heart of the Undead, the Crimson Knight of Hell!” the skeleton bellowed. “I am Lord Balthazar De Mascus!” “You’re also full of yourself…” Argus muttered. - Hee hee! This made me giggle! XD Good job, once again! I envy your ability to write battle scenes well!
DariusFF 2007-08-25 ch 2,	abuseAMAZING! INCREDIBLE! SPECTACULAR! WONDERFUL! UNCANNY! SENSATIONAL! ASTONISHING! I can't wait to read more chapters! PLEASE! PLEASE! continue writing!
Emmelyn Cindy Mah 2007-08-21 ch 1,	abuseWell there, I like this. You have a very good way with english, and it makes me want to read more. I like the name Cyn, also. Good imagery, too. Its all too easy to imagine the scenes you're writing; almost as if it were a film. Keep it up, and I shall eagerly await the next chapter! ^.^ ~Emmy Cindy

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