Nice story. I'm working on one too. Check it out when you get the time to.

omfg! I LUFF THIS!

Woah! Dark! Angst! Drama! I love it!

This was a really good oneshot, keep up the good work!

-Aurora

sons de bnatches! yall est like, messed up. novie est stronger than that, non? hahahahahaha rape est for like, real life. she und i, we live elsewhere, shetbag! ye est suckin big time, foo' of realality! haha bno shretzikeritickaontiun!

Mandarin...is...a F@&K Bucket. No other way to describe him. And there's no other way to describe your writitng except, awsome. Very well done, I must say.

Keep up the pwnage. ;)

PS: SOA Chapter 8 should be up by Sunday, if you're interested.

Interesting. I really liked your plot progression, and your diction was excellent. Overall I really liked this fic. Strong wording and feeling, and your words had amazing connotation. However, some parts really confused me. First, your lack of apostrophes really distracts from your story. Please remember to use it in the case of "it's" when a contraction of "it is", as well as several other places. Also, your tense was extremely confusing (and to be honest, quite obnoxious) in the beginning, you went back and forth between past and future progressive. What's up with that?

"Sprx would nod, as he and Gibson would heave up Otto, their sleeping brother drooling in his sleep. He'd mumble something about car parts and engine oil, and doze deeper. A silly grin would be plastered on his face, his eyes partly open. "Lets get the dope to bed..." "

Do you see what I mean? It's very repetitive and really doesn't make much sense. Why would you be writing of something that hasn't yet happened? Your spelling was sloppy in places, too.

However, overall I really liked this and look forward to seeing some of your other writing. Yous seem to have an excellent grasp on the characterization of the monkey team. I would just appreciate it if you'd read through your pieces a couple more times before submitting them to eliminate errors that could otherwise be avoided.

-RobotMonkeys4Ever, One of the Great Mysteries of the Universe

Wow. I can't say it's the best fic i've ever read (I don't mean this horribly) but it was unique. I hope to see more from you.

This is a great story and interesting as well. The only problem I have is that you said would to many time when it unnessarcy. Otherwise I find this fictional story awesome.