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| mcanj25 2007-08-22 ch 1,  | abusei liked it alot! i hope you start writing some more lost stuff, specially jate! |
| Tahti 2007-08-22 ch 1, | abuseI like it, pithy and succinct yet understated where need be. It reads almost like a poem, the impact of few accurate words free of adornments can't be underestimated. You captured the urgency of the situation really nicely too, the cut phrases bringing a sense of tension. My favourite bit? Probably this: "Murmurs were exchanged...'Kate, Kate, Kate' and 'need' and 'Jack' and 'sorry' and 'it doesn't matter'." - there's no need for full sentences during a surge of passion and you focused on the most important words. Good writing, hope to see more of you in this fandom. :) |
| IrishUnicorn 2007-08-22 ch 1, | abuseI love reading drabbeles because they don't necessarily have to coonect each sentence with the next. You can play around with the words and structure. Very well written. This one is my favorite part: "Skin shivered and prickled. Sweat soothed. Palms connected. Hearts slowed." It's amazing how few words can pack such a punch. And this one before that. Awesome description: "Pounding, pounding, pounding until there was nothing left but to scream." Would love to read more from you. |