|Reviews for Southern Cross Dream|
| Crisis 4/30/11 . chapter 5
Great story so far, love how you're tying in the various plotlines of supposedly unrelated games.
One nitpick on this so far:
Legend of Zelda mythos relates Wisdom with Naryu and Courage with Farore, not the other way around like you said in this chapter.
| onewingedangel73187 4/27/10 . chapter 13
This is complete and utter brilliance at a magnitude I've never even fathomed before. The idea of a mega crossover this epic was a more than welcome surprise. I did start picking up on the Zelda references early, though the Sonic Reference slapped me as an "Oh. Duh. Shoulda put two and two together, hello! TECHNO-EMPIRE?" But I digress. Anyway, is this a complete story with the Vanguard War being separate or is this just waiting to continue? Also as More of a Zelda fan I can't quite imagine Ganondorf serving under Bowser, as recent events in the Mario franchise have taken him from brilliant schemer to love-sick moron in all of two decades (Though, admittedly I haven't played the Wii Mario's so I don't know if they finally brought back the old Bowser edge), where as Ganon has progressed astronomically as a character in the forward direction in the last decade alone having gone from single minded "Must Possess the Triforce!" to a man with Motive. But hey that's my opinion. Bottom Line is great work, for something I picked up as a Startropics Fanfiction, this definitely defied my expectations
| Frozen Nitrogen 7/14/09 . chapter 6
Ho-ho, curveball review of unexpected story! :D
"His voice trailed off, and Mica noticed him absent-mindedly rubbing the back of his right hand."
- Dun dun dun duh!
"And don’t ever second guess your decision. It’ll just tear you apart."
- So the conspicuously mundane link in the chain of heroes turned down his own call to fame and glory, eh?
"I remember facing what I can only describe as a great, floating, disembodied head, with a pair of clawed hands to match"
- I'm almost certain I should recognise this from somewhere. Shadow Temple, Ocarina of Time?
I enjoyed the long, rambling summary of the Lylat system's astrophysical makeup far more than I probably should have. Titania and Fortuna remind me of IRL Epimetheus and Janus. The description of Meteo is a little hazy, though: are you saying that the moon WAS industrialised before it got planet-busted, or that the asteroid belt is currently industrialised?
Sections on, amidst stabbing-a-guy-in-the-heart-with-a-trident, I give thumbs up on use of the word "hadean", which is a new one to add to my repertoire!
No technical complaints to level against this chapter; it was all put together nicely and with some tasty astrography thrown in for good measure. I'll still implore you to reduce chapter length though. I can only stay up so late!
| Frozen Nitrogen 3/24/09 . chapter 5
More a continuity quibble than a "You're awful at writing!1!" quibble, but after spending several chapters describing (at least by proxy) how Argonia is a knocked-back-to-the-Stone-Age ruin, and then mere paragraphs ago mentioning how their weapons are reconfigured pieces of scrap, I had to raise an eyebrow at the fully charged working-order plasma pistol and Codren's considerations regarding how it's a superior weapon to the Static Pistol. AS IF HE HAS A CHOICE IN THE MATTER, which, given the aforementioned scarcity of armaments lying around, I doubt he does.
The abrupt appearence of the Star Fox franchise caught me a bit unawares, but you handled the introduction well over the course of the section. Grey's chauvanism drew a chuckle too. :)
Can't say I blame him, with Monroe's utter disregard for her "Sirs" and "Commanders". Where's the military discipline, I ask you?
“I mock you with the truth, and you flatter me with lies. Who is kinder?”
Should I be wondering HOW trapped-on-the-moon-for-who-knows-how-long Zoda got two Triforce pieces?
| Frozen Nitrogen 3/22/09 . chapter 4
I'll have to commend you for the patience to pen a lengthy transcription of the entire plot of Ocarina of Time in here. As you have taken pains to tell me, I tend to get impatient and expect people to just remember the canon themselves.
For a vast chapter composed almost exclusively of expositionary dialogue and nary a SINGLE explosion or messy evisceration, this was actually quite good. It certainly held my attention despite the absence of FIGHT.
The only thing I thought of as missing was perhaps a note on how Young Merlin looks different to Old Merlin back in 97. But that's only because the absence contrasts with the conspicuous vitriol of Pendragon.
| Frozen Nitrogen 3/21/09 . chapter 3
"if you keep this up much longer you’re going to end up talking to yourself"
- He's gone mad! Mad, I tell you! I liked his and Mike's garbled dualist "Tell me about Dragmire!" yelling as well.
"‘resting place of the triple power,’"
- Ah-HA! Tri-force, you say?
"For that you can call me caring or heartless; the choice is yours. Frankly, I don’t remember the difference.”
- What a line. Awesome. Moraigne's chastising makes up for the cave environmentlessness last chapter. NOW I know what blasted Argo City's like. It's FIGHTY. Much enjoyed that section.
“Doc, the Once and Future King was King Arthur!”
“I have a doctorate, thank you. I’m familiar with the book."
- Also amusing. :D
I was going to complain at you for being thousands-of-words-cryptic in Merlin's first section at the crash site, but because of all the exposition you hurl at Dr.J at the end, I think you can be forgiven. ;)
| Frozen Nitrogen 3/18/09 . chapter 2
"Predestination paradoxes were always a great hassle, and he had no intention of dealing with one today."
- You can't leave those things alone, can you? :P
Fight scene with Zoda at the start was good; I maintain that Mike's (largely) unflappable attitude detracts from the horror of fightng giant aliens, but the lenght and descriptiveness largely made up for that. His reluctance to fulfil Merlin's task was well-portrayed too.
You'll appreciate that it's difficult for me to enthuse about the actionless psychoanalysing and characterisation for the rest of the chapter, given that I havn't got much in the way of a clue about how they should be behaving... but there were, at least, no spelling or grammar errors that made me wince.
Think you could have done with a bit more description about the blasted ruin of Argo City, though. Beyond the fact that the section with Moraigne takes place in a cave, there's no environmental details at all.
| Frozen Nitrogen 3/8/09 . chapter 1
This man knows nothing, but I'll comment on the prose of Ch1 where I can, anyway!
The shift between poem-writing and re-entry-ing-ship-riding could've done with a big horizontal line to cut it off; at the start, I wasn't sure if I was reading about a past adventure, a FUTURE adventure after Mike gets set on another quest by his uncle, or even a transcript of the summer vacation report he eventually writes. You managed one with the scene break right at the bottom, so...?
The big chunky description of Super-Zoda was ace, although I can't help but feel you threw away any "fierceness" you built up in the mind of the reader with Mike's sardonic rejoinder. But that might be in character for him. I WOULDN'T KNOW, WOULD I?
"...and the third was a creature with immense girth and something like a broad mustache."
- DUN DUN DUN DU-U-U-U-U-UHH!
"You wind up dreaming about running around in a green costume with a sword"
- DUN DUN DUN DU-U-U-U-U-UHH REDUX!
| Aquatic-Idealist 6/4/08 . chapter 13
I honestly have nothing new to say. You've kept the quality consistent, which is a plus considering the fact that tend to I get lazy with my works when they reach this point... Pah, no matter, pray continue your efforts.
| Aquatic-Idealist 4/30/08 . chapter 12
Tenacity, Persistence, Integrity, these are virtues that Mica must uphold now... The enemy has taken a great victory on this day, and all the Argonians can do now is flee for their dear lives and lick their wounds in preparation for the day when they can finally smite this foe...
Those virtues aforementioned, admittedly, were not upheld by me when I wrote that fic... I wonder if it's even worthy enough to be in the Statropics section anymore...
Regardless, please keep this up. I think that only when a writer truly has passion for something, it will turn out great. Otherwise, it will be mediocre or, in the worst case scenario, a piece of dung, which is what mine turned out to be, to be honest.
Bravo, encore, sir, and best of luck.
| Aquatic-Idealist 3/11/08 . chapter 11
Gotta love voices of reason, current incompetency, and old men with hidden things in their past.
At least, those are the things that stood out to me in this chap.
It's great to see that you're back! Now, we shall see the extent of Zoda'a might shortly, yes?
| Aquatic-Idealist 2/7/08 . chapter 10
Hah! I was wondering how you've been!
Your recent update was superb, as ever. Except, now I find it sorrowful that I never had the chance to play a StarFox game.
Unfortunately, it seems that PMs don't reach you, so I'll say this about my fic in this section (and to any of my readers who happen to be reading this fine work as well):
I lament the fact that its quality is far inferior to that of Gallian Nights or, heck, Generations of Conflict, the latter of which I am also losing interest in.
With the rapid decline of motivation on my part to complete it, it seems that updates are currently nonexistent. As of this writing, only two sentences have been completed, and these were intended to be a parody on the Bible... Yes, religious activists, you have the right to strike me now.
I do not intend to insult the fic by giving it some really poor ending like I once did to one of my now dead fics, so I'm currently caught in a quagmire... I apologize for its poor quality and I also apologize for this message of ill news.
But enough of that, Bruce, sorry. With these lamentations aside, I do hope that your next update will come shortly, and, furthermore, I wish for you the best.
| Aquatic-Idealist 1/23/08 . chapter 9
Finally, you get the attention you rightfully deserve.
It's been rather tiring, having to write fics that, firstly, have some difficulty in plot progression and, secondly, have few people actually assisting in critiques, but, hey, that's why we have other works, right?
There were a few spacial errors "Don'tsay that!" For example, but errors are so rare in your fics compared to mine, since I used WordPad for this whole time until recently, when I finally decided to use Open Office, that processor is awesome!
Anyways, you're doing very well. We're biting our fingernails, worried to death over Mike's future...
But what's even more critical (and what your other reviewer mentioned) is that this fic is far superior than any crossover fics that have been made in the past. Seriously, the one thing crossover fics fail to accomplish is ensure that they do not sound farfetched, unprofessional, or idiotic. You, however, have made everything believable and helped intertwine all the characters and worlds into one universe. For that, you deserve a cookie.
Ah, well, it seems that we Startropics fans need more readers and fellows, as we've all been so neglected... Hopefully, with the release of Startropics on the Virtual Console, such pains can be remedied...
So good luck on your journey, friend, and I'll see you around.
| Drake of the 99 Dragons 1/13/08 . chapter 8
I think the biggest compliment I can pay to this story is that I've read it practically non-stop since I discovered it. It's brilliant, frankly. I've read good crossovers before, but never one on this kind of scale. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I read a work of fanfiction as good as this, if I ever have.
The reason most crossovers fail, in my opinion, is that they're too focused on bringing the characters together, rather than bringing their worlds together. A big part of this work's success is that it provides so much intertwining history for the worlds involved, enough that it doesn't feel the slightest bit incongruous to learn that, for example, two worlds from different games are one and the same. I'm really looking forward to introducing characters from the other franchises because I know their addition to the story will be equally seamless.
The characters that inhabit those worlds are handled just as well. It's really a great mark that there isn't a wasted character in the story. Dialog is used very effectively to not just to advance the plot but to explore the personalities of the people who are speaking. A written work like this has a lot more opportunity for character development that most kinds of games, but I never felt like I was dealing with different characters than I met in Startropics or Star Fox; like their worlds, the characters are explored and expanded, not rewritten. That's another significant mistake too many authors (and especially crossover authors) don't avoid.
The work is also technically excellent, with good pacing and a solid balance between brevity and detail, as well as believable dialog that flows very well. The technical aspects are crucial; I've read far too many stories where authors conceive excellent ideas and ruin them with a lack of attention to technical detail.
You should be proud to have such a great work-in-progress here. I sincerely hope you finish this and continue with your plan to write four more books in this series.
| Drake of the 99 Dragons 1/13/08 . chapter 1
Very promising beginning. I especially liked the flashback to the original Startropics; not only does it provide context for the story, it also helps establish the tone and the characters. I'll definitely keep reading this one.