Wonderful. Simply wonderful.

You captured their personalities and how they would handle love perfectly. I really enjoyed reading this, not caring that my dinner is now probably cold.

Thank you for a lovely ending to my day.

Angel

As much as I want to respond to the PM first... Well, that could take a while. And also, you've had this story up for a couple days now, so I figure it's about time I read it. Plus I already have a crazy weakness for this pairing... :P Darn you for distracting me with philosophy!

Oh dear! A few paragraphs in and I already want to cry for Yzak. I THOUGHT YOU SAID THIS HAD A HAPPY ENDING! *realizes she has totally jumped the gun and made no sense* Yeah, I know. :P I'll shut up now. Obviously something can only get happy after it's been sad first. So I'll quit giving you a hard time, hehe. I'm just teasing and trying to say that when you write sad, dramatic stuff, you do it really, REALLY well. So well that I lose all hope of a happy ending. And somehow I meant to show you that by flipping out. Or something.

I drank the Vietnamese version of iced coffee a few hours ago at this fancy Vietnamese restaurant. Can you tell? It's about the strongest most delicious damn stuff I've ever had. But it's making me talk hyper jibberish. I'll be up all night, making this review probably the most nonsensical one you've ever read. I LOVE YOU, SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME! *zips lip and reads on*

Anywhoodle, the story sure starts off with a punch. I meant to say that before. Door slamming. Kind of made me wince. Like, "Aahhck, gah. That can't be good." AND IT WASN'T - OH GOD NO POOR YZAK EVEN THOUGH IT'S PROBABLY HIS OWN FAULT.

Oy. 'Ang on a second, chum. WHO IS YZAK TALKING TO? It's either like... Dearka in some disembodied form or the voice in his head. Jesus fuck, I really should not have had that coffee. That powerful shit should be illegal! My fingers are all shaky! Caffeine is ruining my ability to comprehend, god damn it... All right, Ms. Tapping Alchemist, think, just think... This is shogi and she deserves your concentration. Go ADD later. XD *focuses all her chakura* "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" *multiplies* Well, at least with multiples of me, ONE of us will be able to focus on your story.

Ahem. For real this time.

"Why do you always have to make everything fit into your little, perfectly-ordered world?" Ouch. I can picture that being said with a kind of mocking ring to it, but mocking only because the voice is also bitter and hurt - looking for a defensive way to strike back to ease the pain. So the speaker is hurt, but saying such a thing to Yzak probably hurts Yzak too. It'd hurt ME if I had to hear the truth like that.

"Stop it, Yzak; just… stop it." The whole paragraph that starts off with that line... Wow. Kind of hits like a trainwreck. It's so REAL. And really, really intense and emotional. Sort of makes me want to cry frustrated tears for both of them, a whole river, full of helplessness and sorrow... (That's the coffee talking again.) But honestly, that was some powerful dialogue. And also the whole "and it scared him shitless" part. That's really digging into what Yzak feels, and you've hit the nail on the head. It almost made ME as scared shitless and nervous as Yzak! Just the choice of words - something as straightforward and raw and vulgar as "scared shitless" in the midst of all your eloquent diction - was enough to jolt my gut and make me feel what Yzak was feeling. Jolt in a GOOD way, I mean - not like it was out of place, because it wasn't. Perfect choice of phrasing and nice use of balance, I think.

"...rushed and bruising passion." Lovely, lovely words, you wordsmith you! Makes me squeal. And all the rest of your description there... *nearly chokes* OMG HOTT! "Exploded into a white heaven?!" Where in hell do you come up with such gorgeous images?! I'M DYING, OVER HERE - DYING.

Oh - now I get the beginning part. It was kind of a run-through in Yzak's head about what had just gone on, and now we get more detail about what happened and we continue from that point. It was a little confusing at first, but I don't think it inhibited the story at all. And once I figured out the whole string of events, I kind of really liked the way you set the whole story up. It's different. It's really cool! It gives the fic just the right amount of jumbled mystery and confusion - like what the characters were probably going through. Makes it that much more of an adventure to read. Nice tactic!

And I LOVE the repetition of Dearka's words throughout! Especially because they're so powerful! I hear them like an echo, a demanding refrain, and I think it's wicked cool how you did that. Wow. I dunno. It's just COOL, darn you. You suck for rendering me mostly speechless. And as far as portraying the emotions go... You really seem to know what you're talking about. Or maybe I'm only so sensitive to it because I've felt the same sorts of feelings as Yzak and Dearka. I'll tell you this: you've got it right, missy. Especially the whole "mostly it had been protection against other people… people who might demand a place in his heart" bit. Gah, and everything. Just... everything. Everything after that and everything before. So damn realistic. *bawls* WOW.

"The heartless only know how easily the heart can break." You... *sputters* Y-You you you... BRILLIANT! Ah - that's it! I - you - this is - ... CAN I NAME YOU THE QUEEN OF MOST BEAUTIFUL AND TRAGIC ANGST? PLEASE?! Holy hell.

...

You've made me cry. You have just made me cry with this text. I'll have you know, I do NOT cry. I am miss tough-as-nails just-like-Yzak hardass cold steel frame of a person (except when I write, I guess). I've read lots of sad fanfics that have tugged heartstrings, and I've gotten terribly sad or happy to the point of tears, but never actually cried. Hell, if I was going to cry, I'd have figured a movie with sound and pictures would do it, not a piece of writing. Dude, I can't even see the fucking keyboard. Wow. I can't even review the rest of this. This is... just incredible. I kind of want to kill you right now, for breaking my nice little wall of toughness down THIS much. Wish I could blame the coffee for this one somehow, but I don't think I can. This fic just hit me the right way or something. Sheesh. Go figure.

Aw MAN - this is seriously beautiful and you suck for that. Sorry for gushing so much but... shit. *ends review* :P (Clearly this is being favorited. And worshipped in a whirl of fangirly cryfesting. Etc. etc.)

that was well done i hope you write more

*sniff**sniff* That was beautiful, with the right amount of angst and romance.:)