Reviews for Broken Trust - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Broken Trust - Reviews: Page 1 of 3

Flaming Telepaths 2008-08-31 ch 9,	abuseJust saw this story and I've got to say, I'm enjoying it. Now, in my opinion, the characters aren't all THAT OOC. Sure, there are some major differences between the personalities of the characters in the book and their personalities in this fic, but there are also a lot of similarities. For instance, Darry is still the hard, seemingly unfeeling, yet very loving and protective Darry that we know from the book. Sodapop is protective of Ponyboy, Steve is jelous...So you can see how, even though their are differences, the way you write the characters really isn't that hard to believe. As for Ponyboy, it's a little bit difficult to compare his character in this to that of his character in the book, but that's becuase this is an AU story, where he is younger. Nothing wrong with that and there is definately nothing wrong with writing Ponyboy the way YOU believe him to be at the age of eight. After all, that's what fanfiction is all about. As long as the writing is good, the story is interesting, and it's not to hard to believe that these characters are in fact the characters from the book, all three of things things your fic is, it's okay to take some creative liberties. One more thing I have to point out: the situations (e.g. the Curtis parents dying in a car accident, trouble with the state, and even simple things like Soda and Steve working at the DX, etc.) are the same as in the book. Also, the same emotions from the book are there, further proving my point that these characters really aren't all that OOC. Anyway, this is a great story. I even like Delanie, even though I tend not to enjoy original characters. I really hope you continue this story. I would love to read more. -FT
Rose 2008-05-20 ch 9, anon.	abuseAlthough this is very out-of-character, it still holds to the emotional content of the original. It's an interesting read and I hope you will continue.
itswhatido 2008-05-18 ch 9,	abuseI luv what you have written so far, I never had thought of the dad being mean like that. Nice work update soon! ~itswhatido~
Deanaholic1 2007-12-18 ch 8,	abuseREALLY GOD..WICKED AWESOME UPDATE..MORE ON THE WAY I HOPE..!
edwards other bella 2007-12-18 ch 8,	abusenice job, but please make sure that you check it before u post something...
Points 2007-12-18 ch 1,	abuseWhat? This doesn't even really make sense, and it definately isn't cannon. I mean, this isn't even fanfiction, it's some random story you came up with and you threw the characters name on it. TOTALLY OOC. Totally not cannon. Way not enough description. The entire thing is dialogue.
anna mara 2007-11-28 ch 7, anon.	abuseok. i can see that many people here have not been offering much criticsism, and writer's need criticsism, so here goes: writing wise, it is decent. your dialogue improves the more you write, and the conversations are fairly well put-together. so well done there. the thing i would like to point out, really, is that this story has very little to do with the Outsiders. It's really just the names- the characters, personalities, everything else is different. this isn't bad in general, it's just that it doesn't have anything to do with the book or movie. but i think you could easily change the names and publish this as an original writing, possibly on another site.
Deanaholic1 2007-11-28 ch 7,	abuseaw...how cute..wicked good
linda5576 2007-11-28 ch 7,	abuselove this chapter poor pony i will feel the same way too if darry haven't hug him since the funeral update soon
edwards other bella 2007-11-28 ch 7,	abusewow, this chapter made me cry. i have a bit of critque now. it seems kinda unrealisitc some of this things that are being said, like hte vocab that you use. and make sure that you check stuff like capitalization, commas and spelling beore you post.
My-Arabian-Knight 2007-11-28 ch 7,	abuseAw! How cute poor little pony.
BSBnACcHiCk 2007-11-28 ch 7,	abusegreat chappy. I really enjoy this story
My-Arabian-Knight 2007-11-11 ch 6,	abusePoor Darry. . . I'm still kinda confused as to what his dad did to him. Did he beat him or play "freeze tag" with him. . . That's the only thing that got me. . . But either way. . .poor Darry. Update soon! :)
My-Arabian-Knight 2007-10-27 ch 5,	abuseAW! So sad! Poor Darry, Soda, and Pony I hope Delanie doesn't leave. Update soon :)
edwards other bella 2007-10-26 ch 5,	abusenice job...i think uu woud have drawn out court a bit though...

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