THIS IS The MOST COCK SUCKING FUCKING SLUT FANFIC I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN I MEAN LOOK AT THE FUCKING SANDAIME OH WAIT HES FUCKING DEAD!

please update!

wow just wow

uh anko was never a jonin only a special jonin and she wouldn't be one yet anyway

why wasn't there a comment about jiraya being late

also you don't put a comma between first and surnames

interesting chapter :)

continuity again... here you say he learned rasengan in 3 weeks but you'd said he had in a week before...

really? sage already?you might be rushing a bit too much...

I found your story a couple days ago and started reading, and so far I have to say that I like it, and will probably continue reading. But I've been meaning to point out some things and since you asked for criticism to improve your writing I'll tell you what I've noticed.

-You can work on development, of decisions and actions especially I mean. For ex. when Itachi took over for Jiraiya to torture the tsuchikage, I thought he would've used tsukiyomi, it would've made it soooo much better. Instead he looked like a wimp after giving up after only on little stab on the leg. It made no sense. Also, Tsunade agreed way to easily, which considering it was for naruto made sense, but you could've milked it sooo much more. There are quite a lot more like that, but those are the only ones that come to me right now. To be fair I'm already almost at #15...

-CONTINUITY! it's very important and you keep messing it up. What I mean it's not time wise, Sequence of event/time flows fine, what I mean is that you keep contradicting yourself. A lot, it gets annoying and makes the story a bit hard to follow. For example; I really thought he didn't know about the kyuubi, he's not supposed to know at all as far as I can tell, yet here you say that after stabbing his own hand (which I thought was ridiculous, he hadn't seem so stupid in the story to not realize to use the kunai on the wall instead of himself till then. In fact he'd seemed quite smart and reasonable)he basically counted on the kyuubi to heal his wound afterwards, does that mean he knows then? there was another really really big thing on that that I noticed yesterday, one person being there and then not being there big, but for the life of me I can't remember right now. It was a few chapters ago. When I think of it I'll let you know... again just watch out for that and try to keep track of yourself.

-Oh and this is more of an observation. Isn't he just too young to learn rasengan yet? he's what 8? 9? has he even entered the academy yet? I think you should've waited a bit more on that. Especially teaching it when so many enemy nins are in the same building and could be watching to steal it too.

-Grammar wise, there well a couple of things I noticed but nothing glaring. Definitely nothing to make me quit reading out of annoyance (some stories have such horrible grammars, that even if I like the plot, I have quit them since they were literally painful to read). I saw a confused to, too and two somewhere, and what I see most often is missing commas. Try to learn how to use them better to break up sentences. Already you use them well enough, but if you read through some longer sentences, you'll notice that in spots you tend to make a natural pause to make it flow better and increase understanding. That's where you need those commas. I've had to stop and re-read quite a few sentences to make sure I understood them properly.

Again, I don't mean to be mean, really I don't. But I thought to let you know all these things. cause they really can make a difference and it would definitely improve your writing, which isn't bad to begin with, you just need to refine it I suppose. :)

Happy Halloween!

Finally caught up and I have really enjoyed what I read so far. I wonder what will happen next? I'm saddened to hear that you'll be ending this soon, but I still think it could end good with the setup from this chapter. I will look forward to more.

First off, I'd like to say that I've enjoyed your story so far. I like how you have portrayed Minato and I think it works quite well.

Great

I have idea for a story,Minato come back when Naruto is 7,He save Mikoto u,he help Naruto Improve that attract a number of girls,they have a self-healing Bloodline so this allow both of them to have a harem,Girls like Sakura,Hinata,Ino,Tenten,femHaku,Temari will be in Naruto,s harem when older women like Anko,Hana,Mikoto will be in Minato,s Harem.

I always wanted a story where both gets a Harem.

awesome story

kinda getting me a little dizzy to be honest with so many twist which is fine but a little more explanation would be nice

as far as the relationship with naruto and ino i am not sure where exactly its going cuz it keeps switching

Um...That was BAD. OFMG SOMEONE GET YAMATO! And Tsunade's necklace! AND MINATO! UPDATE!

oh shit! awesome chapter!

keep up the awesome work, i can't wait to see what happens next

Wow I really want to see what happens to Naruto now...

This InoNaru thing bugs me i'd rather just him be alone or with someone that makes sense like sakura or hinata more alone cause i feel this is more adventure than romance and if this does turn into romance i will stop reading

I started to lose interest here i thought finally a fic without

naruto using the most feminin element in the world water then what do you do? just that I HAD HOPED FOR FIRE JUTSU FROM HIM WHY WHY DID YOU CHANGE IT FIRE IS THE BEST ELEMENT EVER AND IT MAKES SENSE SINCE THE KYUBBI'S CHACKRA IS FIRE NATURE