Sniff. SNIFF! Ah...Is that the scent of...lemon I smell?

Wow! This is great, great, great! I loved it!! :D

"I feel the same," he told her hoarsely.
^^I really think this line is kind of weak for the moment.
Without changing the character of his reply, you could have it:
"Me too. It's always been you," he told her hoarsely.
(you could add an 'echoing her words' if the repitition bothers you) I just think it would be more natural.

(i mean, who actually says "I feel the same" in these situations? it sounds a little stiff)

Otherwise like it though. Quite.

So cute. Impulse decisions are sometimes the best. I didn't mean to get all deep. Really good story, very cute. Keep writing.

Fantasy Fan Girl

OH! XP great story!

Aw I loved it, it was so cute!

OMG I LOVE IT! i cant believe u ended it there! -HEAVEN

good and hot, the temp has just risen. Great job!

wo! i don't even care that you never explained how ed made it back from the other side! i don't care! all i care about is how frigging cute this was! and good. nicely done. however, what a cliffhanger ending! well, wait no, that's not the right word... i believe i know what's about to happen, i did take sex ed in middle school... but dammit! i need words! words to go with the horribly dirty pictures in my mind! ah... i loved it.

this was great!

Aww, it's so cute ^_^ Sad in the begining, but cute!

P.S. If I were you, I PROBABLY wouldv'e put this under the 'M' rating; seeing as it has slight references to, well...a 'lemon' as they call it :P

Just a little thing I felt would be important to point out; I mean no offence ^_~

aw!

UPDATE!! please great story

Great fic! I loved it! I wish u would add more too it!