Reviews for Samantha House

Reviews For: Samantha House - Reviews: Page 1 of 3

EMIS3400 2008-09-07 ch 12,	abuseThis story is very intriuging, id like ot read more. So please updatge soon!
supernaturalobbsessed 2008-08-31 ch 14,	abuseplz update soon
socrgrl14 2008-05-16 ch 14,	abuseGood job. I wonder what's wrong with him? Just check spelling and grammar please. It's a little hard to follow.
Maja 2008-05-16 ch 13, anon.	abuseIsn’t it ironic that my last name is House but I have an apartment?” hahaha...i thinks that too
Shot in Sarajevo 2008-03-06 ch 1,	abuseThis is painful to read, and not just because of the bad grammar and syntax. Social workers don't act this way, and neither does House. House is actually clever. This is... well, I can't think of any words to describe it. House having a daughter is a tired and boring plot bunny, especially when she's just as surly and "sarcastic" (which, in this story, isn't really sarcasm but just badly written dialogue that makes no sense) as her "father". Do us all a favor and save the self-inserts for your LiveJournal.
i.love.singing 2007-11-22 ch 13,	abuseoh wow. house is such an idiot. i cannot imagine someone having 30 kids. OH WOW! good story.
Birdhearted 2007-11-06 ch 13,	abuseLol, oy vey... House is a wierdo...
Birdhearted 2007-10-24 ch 12,	abuseI think when therapy gets done Sammy should go chat with Chase and Cameron and Foreman...
VMsuperfan 2007-10-22 ch 12,	abusegood chapter
Birdhearted 2007-10-16 ch 11,	abuseWow... Poor kid...
Birdhearted 2007-10-09 ch 10,	abusePoor Sammy...
Lynandreth 2007-09-30 ch 10,	abuseLuna doesn't seem to be someone who especially cares about her kids. Not in the way that counts. And someone autistic, even slightly autistic, wouldn't pick up even broken English the way a normal kid would just from hearing others talk. They need very specialized attention to come that far. Otherwise, I think this is an interesting premise and I wanna see where you'll take it.
Forgottengargoyle 2007-09-29 ch 10,	abuseYou asked for constructive criticism... You do a good job with the dialogue. But you can't expect the readers to understand what is happening just from spoken words. It takes a very good, very accomplished writer to pull that off. I'm not sure if you are thinking this is a script for a House episode, because you use words like "the camera makes its way" and that sort of thing. While fan fiction can include scripted work...it's not a good idea because it's very hard to follow as a story. Think about a House episode with House and Wilson just standing there, talking. Even with House's personality, it would be confusing and boring. Also, it's pretty clear that House is what you would want him to be if he was your father and not actually the character he is on the series. That's okay, you are the one writing this...but you put yourself up for alot of flames. I noticed from your other stories you only write self-inserts. Just know that you have choosen the type of story that will give the most flamage. The reason for this is that people have come here to these boards for a story about House...not about your dreams for being inserted into the House world. One more thing, and this is just for the readers' sake. You have to stop and think whether or not you are making sense. A family with thirty-one children? Are you kidding me? All of them disfigured by a doctor's mistake? All of them rich and smart? You have to explain that better. And look at this sentence from Chapter 4: "These children weren’t well adjusted even with their high IQ’s and money and talent they mostly relied on themselves when their mother was away on business and the nannies watched them." Try saying that sentence out loud without taking a deep breath first. It's impossible. If you can't say a sentence out loud like that, it's TOO LONG. If you have to use the word "and" more than twice, it's TOO LONG. One last thing. You have to stop describing what everyone is wearing. That's not going to help us discern thirty kids from each other, and it's not good enough to establish a character. Also - I know I said the previous was the last, but - you said Samantha was blind but she's playing a PSP? Now, you are probably thinking I'm a jerk for saying all this, but I assure you I wouldn't have bothered if you didn't have some talent. But you need to take the time to re-read your work before posting it. And think harder about your characters. Try having one or two really well developed, well explained characters, instead of thirty unmemorable ones.
Birdhearted 2007-09-29 ch 9,	abuseThat's cute...
socrgrl14 2007-09-28 ch 9,	abuseI feel bad for Samantha. She had to walk to kindergarten in the rain. At least she met someone. How many brothers and sisters does she have and are they all blood related? If they are, her mom must be busy.

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