The fact that this is apparently a one-shot makes me very, very sad. (

Hrmm, I like it. I admit that when I read Lady Aoi's fic proposing FxH, I thought she meant Hanagata! Since then I have been interested in the idea, most certainly. I personally think this is off to a good start. _

However, you wanted comments to make it better and feared that the idea would die away? Was it because you wanted suggestions or what? Oh well, I've already given praise so here's the rest of my two bits. _

I think this is a nice way to examine the relationship between Otaru and Hanagata, much in the way that Lady Aoi has begun with one of her many fics that introduced Hanagata to a handsome doctor from New Texas. _

However, you could also consider... would Hanagata truly be happy with Faust? More than Otaru? It's a good way to examine his feelings. Would this make him sad? To maybe even have sex with another man that isn't Otaru, would this elate him or upset him or give him mixed feelings? Would Faust end up having to force him, would Hanagata warily give in more easily for various reasons, or would Faust decide Hanagata isn't worth a large deal of trouble if the boy clings to the notion that he doesn't want anyone but Otaru?

What are Hanagata's opinions on sex with and without love? Does he want to be the one with more control or is he pleased to give up his weary, strained grip on it? Why would he want or not want control of the situation and the relationship? In a way I'm asking the immortal question of 'Top or Bottom?' but it truly goes beyond just that. After all, in a relationship too, one person is also always a little more dominant than the other, in differing ways, in differing situations, over differing things.

I explained that badly but do you know what I'm getting at? If so, I imagine you've consider most of what I'm asking already but I'm just trying to be helpful and explaining what interests me about this story plot. :)

Hrmm, but off that tangent... of course, other questions must be... when/if Otaru finds out... what will he do? Would he take pity on Hanagata? Would Hangata's father force him to save the boy in a covert operation? What WOULD Hangata's father do about the situation? What will Yumeji? Will he come running tearfully to Otaru-tachi and explain what's happened?

Back to a previous thought, just how would Hangata react to being made/or attempted to be made(which isn't nearly as fun as the former) into someone's toy? Would he be cynical? Would his idealism suffer? How does he view himself? He considers himself a 'Manly Man' but what does he believe that to be?

Maybe some obvious trains of thought but... well, I'm just rambling and hoping maybe it'll either spark renewed interest or some amount of inspiration as to where the story should go. _

Hrmm... s'more things would of course be how Faust views the situation. Would he care about Hanagata's feelings any? Would Otaru assume that Hangata would be happy as Faust's slave/lover? Would he want Hanagata to be happy? Would he assume, more naturally, that Hanagata wouldn't be happy with the situation, if he ever found out about it in time to act? What if he learned too late, after Hangata had returned? How would Hanagata feel about Otaru's lack of rescue?

Getting a little redundant there I guess. ;

Hrmm... what would happen if Hanagata's father refused to help Faust but also simply left Hanagata to his own devices, not finding it worth his time to save the poor boy and presuming Hanagata can find a way out if he's smart enough?

... Something I'd rather not think about but what if the entire situation ends up with poor Hanagata being... dead? I know, I know. It doesn't sound like it's going that way. Just from the intro it sounds like Hana'll turn out alright in the end... but what if it somehow leads in that horrible direction? Would you want it to? If it felt right for the story, would you be willing to let it happen?

I'd personally rather he didn't die of course. ;

Finally... one last thing... will this change Hanagata's relationship with anyone at the end? (Of course, it can all be blissful PWP but it's a good question that sums up everything I've ask before now, I think.) _

So there you go. My rambling input. Hope it helped you out somewhat. There's too many good, unfinished Hanagata oriented fics in the world. I beg you to help decrease that number. _

Awwww, poor Hana-chan! Continue, please? **big puppy eyes** I think it's well-written, so far, and I don't see it entirely unbelievably Faust would think this way. We all know he's dabbled. (oh, come ON, look at him!)

Uhm, yeah, you gotta finish this, like... NOW! Oh, see how I shiver with antici... (say it) PAtion!

finish please!

are you a mind reader? I was having the same thoughts; what if Faust got a hold of Hanagata and well . . . you know . . .

This is good! I wanna read more! Please don't stop it there! Or if ya really don't wanna post it on fanfiction.net, please email me the story! ;_;

::crash!:: I was expecting Otaru...not Hanagata.

*whimpers* t-that's all? Aww, Xel! I hope you continue this some day! I think this could be one damn hot pairing!

*bouncybouncy* wai! xel-chan wrote another yaoi SMJ 'fic! _ I really wanna see the rest of this, you left us hanging there...*_* Oh well, it'll be finished eventually, right? *wibbly kitty eyes* anyways...interesting pairing, I would of never thought of that...you definetly have a very very vivid imagination, which wouldn't be a bad thing, of course. Anyways, you're writing style rules-!

OO! Hmm. Very interesing pairing...QUITE intruiging. It's good to see ff.net back up, no?

Oooo... yummy. You're right. It isn't really a couple I'd thought about but you're right. This shouldn't just be allowed to fade away. I love your Saber Marionette fics! *looks cute* More?