man it's so funny good going

good start I like chapter one

keitaro should just turn naru into something

Hope this story moves away from the typical movie story.. PS if your looking for a pairing... PLEASE not the traditional Naru...

Just my thoughts

Nice to see that you didn't attempt to rip off any of the jokes from the movie. I'm wondering what will happen with Keitaro having God's powers and dealing with the girls. Don't worry about the whole updating thing, I understand what it's like trying to do multiple fics.

Keitaro surviving so much damaging attacks doesn't defy the laws of physics - it defies biology.

This is pretty interesting. Too bad you haven't updated in a while.

Dude, this'll be awesome. I just know it. I love Love Hina and Bruce Almighty. I definitely see the resemblance between Bruce and Keitaro. This is most definitely going to be an interesting set of events. I hope you'll update soon.

YOU COPYED THE MOVIE BUT UPDATE THIS IS NOT A FLAME

This has potental. They both do get kicked around a lot. Keep it up

Authors notes belong at the very beginning or the very end of the chapter, but it never goes in the middle of the prose.

You should never have to justify your pairing, just write it. If people don't like it, they don't have to read it.

For the timing of when you want to set the story, Naru makes sense. (I am neither a proponent nor a basher of any of the love hina girls, and enjoy the full range of pair ups.)

Now the issues:

I realize you are using Bruce Almighty as a model, but don't just make it seem like you changed Bruces name for Keitaro's, news anchor for Archealogy, etc.

In canon, Naru was never very religious. Now she seems on a Kami-sama kick. Keitaro loves photo booths and keeps an album. As such, he wouldn't be so blasé about making an album (though I can understand his distraction). You seem to be setting up for scenes to occur just like in a movie. Guess what, I saw the movie, saw the sequel, and if I want to watch it again, I'll go rent it. You need to follow the ideas without plagarizing the movie. You can have a similar scene with similar emotions and emotional impact as when Bruce finally put the Album together and the sister noticed without actually using a photo album, and the very same layout. The photo album is what is called a MacDuffin (or was it MacGuffin). The Maltese Falcon was a MacDuffin. They could of been searcing for something called the jade cabbage patch doll, and the movie would of been the same. Likewise, here.

I wonder if you have read the manga, or just seen the Anime. By this stage of the timeline in the manga, the girls are not so prone to hit him (well, other then Naru). And if they were, Kanako would be on trying to protect or avenge her brother. So, I understand the need to make his life crappy, but it comes out as a trite, overdone "let's have the girls bang Keitaro around for a bit because hey, no Love Hina fanfic chapter should go by without at least one Naru Punch, Rock Splitting sword, tama attack, and Keitaro doing something perverted by accident...", and pointless scene. (though you, at least, have a point for it. Keitaro needs to be miserable enough for the story to work.)

So ... great concept. Good writing skills. Negatives are following the movie TOO closely (just go with the basic concept: Keitaro is miserable, challenges God, gets to be God for awhile, and learns a life lesson, and be creative around that skeleton), and characters being OOC (Naru and religon, Keitaro and photos). And remember, never interrupt your story to write a note to the readers. Save it for the very end of the chapter, or before you begin the chapter.

great story idea! please keep up the good work! update soon!

...a Love Hina adaptation of Bruce Almighty?

That, and the fact that you're a Keitaro/Naru person, and thus NOT a Naru-basher?

This is great. Actually, more than that - this fic has was my tiny sparkle of light in the middle of a thick choking darkness. I've been getting a few more headaches and steady agitation from anything related to Love Hina lately, especially from the fanfiction community. Poor fics, poor authors, overanalysis - you name it. And, given some rather hectic adjustments and changes in my personal life, all of it was bearing down on me. It was going to the point where I was considering to stop writing for Love Hina for awhile.

But, this fic renews my faith in the Love Hina section, and I look forward to reading more of it. I enjoyed Bruce Almighty, and I am curious to see what you will write. I will warn you, however, don't simply translate Bruce Almighty over to Love Hina point-by-point. Keep the essential idea of Keitaro having God or Kami-sama's powers, but don't be afraid to explore some original plot points and ideas as well.

All in all, good work so far. I'll look forward to reading more.

Oh, and please keep Morgan Freeman as God. He is the epitome of awesomeness.