Lol! Awesome! I love it! :D For ur first sex scene, it was v. good. :) MOAR! MOAR!

Yea, I just wrote my first sex fic, on deviantART. My family hates homosexuality too. My dad does, but I dont see him no more. x

Niaaw I love it ! ! and that was your first yaoi O_o... Great ! !

Seriously, write moar w

Definite fav' w

Not bad for a first attempt , however there were elements wrong with both the sex scenes. Judging from your authors note (and I cast no aspersions here,) I doubt that whether you are male or female that you've actually given head. If you had then you would know that scraping your teeth is not an acceptable thing to do to your partner. Some people it is true like a touch of pain with their pleasure, but I can assure you a teenage boy is very unlikely to enjoy such a thing- and trust me even the lightest touch with teeth can hurt let alone scraping.

Secondly with the sex- preparation is absolutely essential. Men are slightly different to woman in that respect! It would cause Harry immense pain if Draco simply shoved it in him. And since hes come once before, not only would it be highly doubtful that even a teenage boy constitution would stretch to a second coming so soon, but it is also a matter of romantic fiction that people come at the same time- its nothing like as easy to regulate I'm afraid.

Hope these points were useful, and that you keep on writing.

THis is actually pretty good for being your first story on the subject.My Family is also very anal on homosexuality if they ever got on my computer they would be suprised! Very good job on the story it was great!

My family is anal about homosexuality.

lol I have waited 2 years to say something like that so i can laugh at it and make crappy jokes about gay butt sex! THANK YOU

Fuck your Dad (Actully no dont) sorry i am in a hyper mood at the moment.

Any Fuck what our family says! this god

no dont go back to mushy het - WRONG WRONG WRONG.

you have a talent stick with it, i liked this alot.

love and kisses Quince

Ugh, I can totally empathize where you're coming from. My family's exactly the same. Anyway it was pretty good for a first yaoi story. Your writing has a lot of potential.

This is a serious challenge because I’m writing it on the family computer and if anyone sees this, they’ll send me to a mental hospital. My family is anal about homosexuality. Especially Dad…. Anyway, I hope you liked it! I had fun writing it! The danger was exciting!

that's like me...but, my family aint homophobc, it's just the whole-'MY 15 yr old daughter writing and reading sex fics'! and the whole thing about me thinking harrydraco is hawt...lol

*squeal*

*clap*

thank you!

omgosh! no you dont have to stick to just mushy stuff. it was actually really good! it was quite creative.

OK that was great! especially 4 ur 1st yaoi. i enjoyed it alot. good job.

that was great! you should so have somebody noticing the hickey

on harry that would be soo funny!

um... wow. that was good. I liked that you kept them really in character. definitely write something else!

Needs some small revisions but the general "story line" is pretty good. Might want to fix some of the dialogue that sounds weird and stuff. You seem like you know what you're doing...just fix a few small things.

SOMEONE WHO GETS OFF ON DANGER I LOVE YOU ALREADY THAT SUCK ABOUT YOUR FAMILY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AND I LIKE IT ND BELIEVE ME THE SEX SCENE WAS GOOD KEEP WRITING *GRINS*