cute :)

This is so cute, are you going to write more?
Please say you are. I can't wait to find out what happens.
BDoB

Aw! How cute! ^_^

I haven't read a fic where Ryoma was the insecure one in long time. Yay for you! I thought it was a very sweet story in general, but that last sentence was gorgeous. My only suggestion for it would be maybe instead of "From a dark corner, a boy watched in wonder...", you should write, "From around the corner, a boy watched..." That way, it makes it seem more like he's just watching over her than like, from an depressing rainy minicloud of doom... or something.

You know what I mean?

I also loved how you mentioned how Inui actualled marked 5.2 cm on the wall just to spite Ryoma. That was clever. And when he heard Tomoka, his hit was affected.

Um... I'm scanning over the story again.. The line where you wrote, "The tennis ball struck the line on the wall squarely. A blasphemy!" I don't think blasphemy fits in there correctly. Or maybe it does, and I'm just not understanding.

Anyway, nice story, (I sadly had no idea 9/14 was Sakuno's birthday) thanks for the read! :)

Kyaa!!I loved it! I'm adding it to my favs right now ^_^ Thank u so much!

KYaahh! Love it! The story is great...

However, you should still try to separate dialogues...

eg. "text text text text text text," text text text text text text text. text text text text text "text text text text text," text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text text.

Why not this?

"text text text," text text. text text text text.

text text text "text text text."

just a suggestion i guess... because(for me) the way you separated paragraphs seems boring for the readers to read it. They may be able to continue reading on. Do you get what i mean? It's just my suggestion anyways...

Well...good luck to your fic! God bless!

Ja!

Shea-chan desu (^.^)

aww...subtle but sweet. loved it. do write more!

aww...cute story...like it!

That was so excellent; I really loved it. It was wonderfully simple and sweet, and I especially liked the view on Ryoma's own insecurities. Interesting, I haven't seen that before.

And the ending was adorble in that pefect, subtle way.

i loved how you made ryoma the vulnerable one in the story as a unique change. i loved how you ended the story with the stars in sakuno's eyes line. it tied the story together perfectly. the story wasn't very romantic, only a pinch, but it was still cute and apropo to their age. (12) this was pretty good. keep writing ryosaku!

Subtle. Very subtle.

Happy Birthday A&C!

so cute and sweet love it

aw...that was so nice! ^.^ love it!

That was so sweet & adorable! It's quite rare to read a fic portraying Ryoma as the insecure one. Thanks for sharing that unique point of view. :)

Aw...!! I love your writing style! This oneshot was really nice. Please write more soon!

Luna