This must be the first and /only/ fanfiction poem I've ever read. Good job.

OH...MIGHT BE SAD BUT LUNA WAS ALRIGHT ANYWAY...GOOD JOB!

Very good! I really like it. It captures how Luna's father felt during the DH, and how it must hurt for parents' to lose their child.

Ouch! That hurt! Such a tear-jerker. Xcellent. It does what it says on the can.

Aw

that was beautiful! so sweet...so sad...


you make me cry.


but you did a good job!

Oh, he SO wants to believe that she'll be coming back! I like the repetition at the end of every verse and that change at the end was brilliant! All the different thoughts and descriptions of Luna were VERY nice too. ^_^

Oh that was a beautiful lament there. I got a bit teary and have recieved a few funny looks from the family. Luna has always been one of my favourite characters, its wonderful to see 'her' through the eyes of someone who loves her so much, sad but beautiful.

Wow... That's so sad. I nearly cried, especially at the end stanza. This was amazing. Wow. That's all I can say.

Oh I loved that. I love the repetition of Luna being down by the river, adn the wistful references to her mother.

"But Luna isn't here right now
She's down by the river
Catching Plimpies for dinner
She'll be back soon"

Wow... He *really* wants to believe it...

II(:

Great! You have used simple words to mean just the right thing, and you have got a knack with words! Simple and very effective piece of work... great job!

cool... this made me really sad... gr8 work!!

Beautiful, that poignant final stanza. Fine structure of ideas throughout, too, with the parallels among the parts. One can really see old Xeno sitting there in his darkening room, trying to deny the obvious to himself.

This is beautiful - hauntingly vague. Your word choice is amazing, and the rhythm of your lines is absolutely gorgeous. I don't know what else I can say, but simply wow.

Very original, and just amazing

Wow...
that was just amazing. I was almost crying by the end, very very powerful, especially the way he kept talking about her mother in shifting tenses, you got the feeling Xeno wasn't too sure whether she was there or what.

The repetition is very powerful too, especially when you realise at the end what it's leading up to. And I love the pattern of each verse as well, and that is especially powerful when those three little lines slip in near the end:
"But it's growing cold
And it's growing dark
And Luna is late"
They stand out marvolously, from the wonderfully ordered structure of the other stanza's.

Good characters too. You've captured Xeno exactly how I picture him :)