i cant wait till the next one!

it was good

Promising. Keep it up!

Er, continue please?

Good fic but chaps could be longer. I'm sure i've met you before on gaia in an rp or thread but I don't remember which one. Also, be nicer to mia and hinata.

This is so cool.

I want Ichigo to become commander, that'd be coolish. :o I can't wait for more! I'm love this. Sersly.

Hi again

I've noticed in both chapters 3 and 4 that you will put the same thing almost twice, like once in a description and then again in the following utterance. That confuses me a bit - if you were to change one of them it would make this flow better i.e, instead of having 'insane pressure' twice, change either the description or ichigo's utterance to something that conveys the same meaning, like 'intense reiatsu'. That way you're saying the same thing but doing it with more vocab...

Other than that it was fine I think Byakuya talked too much but I just think he's a brooding hottie. Laters!

OMG poor Nemu, I feel sorry for her.. :[ Woot, Ichigo is gonna be a General.. XD This keeps getting interesting.. I need more. D:

Chapter two seemed a little short but that is probably just me The length of the sentences are much better tho. Keep up the great work!

Hiya! Warning you now, I'm trying to write a novel so I'll be writing tons on grammar and how to improve sentences etc. Just let me know if I'm starting to sound like an old bat going on and on and on

I sense the beginnings of foreboding in this but there are a few things that could help. For starters I noticed a few sentences that seemed extremely long and a few with maybe a few too many commas. Dividing a few of these up will give this chapter a little more effect. Better to have shorter sentences when trying to portray something of importance, otherwise the reader might become bored of reading the sentence (I assure you I have a lot of patience when reading!)

The next thing I noticed was how quickly this went. Short chapters are good but I don't think a little more description, perhaps of how a character is feeling or how the scene is set, would do any damage. Even just writing about the weather a little will give imagery to the audience and they'll use their imaginations too, trying to picture everything in their heads.

Everything else seems fine. You've set this with dark clouds on the horizon, which makes the reader want to see what happens next. If you want anymore advice just note me on DA (I don't check this site very often )

I thought it was very well detailed. And it made me sad when Yamamoto died.. ;-; I'm looking forward to see how this story develops. Very interesting _

Very good. It's sound so interesting. I wonder what will happen now since the Commander-General Yamamoto is gone. Will someone take his place? Very cool _