That one was really good!

Hope to read more from you ;)

I really like it, though I would like it more if it was a first part of the longer story. I think that you should start new sentence earlier, or at least use more commas. They were too long, especially when you described Omi's fight. It was hard to understand sometimes, and since Omi/enemy's encounter was a main theme here, it should be smooth to read. Of course, this fic is AU since Persia never had this kind of contact with his old friends. It didn't bother me here though, it was just fun to read Omi's hand-combat. I am not sure if he is that good with it, I don't remember seeing him useing high-kicks ever, I think that he only punched the guy in stomach once (the one that tried to molest Ouka). I quess hand-combat isn't his thing, especially since he doesn't have the use of it with his weapon. Okey, bye