 Stargazing BasketCase 2007-09-22 . chapter 1Yeah, okay. This is the kinda story that gets my goat, so I'm probably going to vent a bit.
IM? Instant Messaging? Erm, I don't think so - these characters are magical, remember? What the hell happened to owls? Or any other magical means of communication? I'm assuming they're at home here - does the Burrow even have electricity? How's the computer going to work. You said the convo was emailed to Harry. If he's still with the Dursleys, then how the hell does he have a computer? And keep in mind the time-frame of the series - would they even HAVE computers and IM and emails then? I'd probably be new tech, and therefore very very expensive.
Next point: this sentence -
"Hermione: "whats your issue?" Hermione spat vehemtly"
1. "Vehemently" is spelt wrong.
2. Is Hermione typing or speaking?
3. "What's" needs an apostrophe.
Last point - it's OOC. Very. Hermione swearing and calling herself a nerd? NERD IS AMERICAN. STOP IT! Hermione using chatspeak? The pair of them having a discussion about sex and masturbation? Yeah, right. Go back and re-read the books.
But yeah. Personally, I don't find it particularly funny, either - there are many people on this site who have a more sophisticated sense of humour than this fanfic caters to.
N.B.: this is not a flame. :D |