I loved the Onrac-Olimar conversation - nice to know he has some support.

Another great chapter. The stand-off was the most suspesful part of the story, but you could've added a bit more.

For example, when two close friends are about to fight, usually, they would circle each other during the talk before resuming their position before the fight, but that's what I would have done.

Anyway, looking forward to the end of the chapter, especially when Olimar takes command.

Black Murder Heavangelon was here.

Now I'm hooked. I really want to see what happens next.

A little tip. The readers aren't going to remember exactly who is who or what they are without a reference. For example, you could call Monshume 'the black and red Bulbear' from time to time so that the readers remember who's who. as you are using animals from a game, this would help a lot.

Otherwise, great story and I want to see it through to the end. Don't dissapoint, 'kay?

Black Murder Heavangelon was here.

Fine updates, I didn't find them boring at all. Keep it up, and don't be afraid to progress the story normally without adding unnecessary flair, even if you think this is boring (Because it's not). The only reason I took a while to read chapters 5 and 6, in fact, was because the story is so gripping that once I start reading it I have to keep going, which can be time consuming.

I think you've done a great job with dialogue and the movement of plot itself, those are probably this fiction's strongest points. (I've seen a few too many fictions with superpowerful pikmin like the greens here, so that's a bit old for me, but nevermind that.) I think the main thing that could use a bit of work is description; y'know, describe what the environments and creatures look like and such.

Example: A wall and a tall, thick, grainy, gray stone wall with chips on the crude exterior are the same thing. But we know a great deal more about the latter wall and can envision it in our minds better.

Aside from the description and the occasional grammar slip-up, this fiction is quite a success! Don't stop now, this is something that must be completed.

Sweet. This story is very creative and gives a totally different view on the pikmin world, that could still actually be believeable as something that would take place in the game. (If a bit more focused on the speices war rather than survival.) I especially like the creativity of the 'new' pikmin colors/abilities and the ranking system you've created. The way you've built up a kind of community and personality for each side of the war is impressive, since I've always viewed each as kind of mindless animals rather than organized, intellegent individuals. Please update! I want to know what will happen to Olimar in the future...

"Grins" Spore's right? Glad to see you finally updated.

All I can say is Pure Genius. I never thought about the relationship between Pikmin and Grub Dogs this way. It is truly very imaginative. I anticipate the next chapter heavily. Keep up the good work.

Hey, you revived this!

Sorry about the lack of a good review.

I may not review til your final chapter, but I'm still liking this story. Can't wait for updates.

I read all of the current chapters of this story and have to say that I like it. Update soon as I'd like to see where this story will end up going.

Good luck with keeping on track with it.

He lives, he lives!

Don't stop now, son. This is high-quality stuff, very engaging and leaves one wanting more. Whether you thought you rushed it or not, it was good regardless. So if it means that you can write faster, keep writing like this because it doesn't really damage the quality at all. Keep it up.

Quite interesting. Things have reversed...or have they? Can't wait to read more. That is, unless you're dead, as the lack of updates to your other extremely awesome fic seem to suggest.
Teh Chikin demands you update!! DX

Oh... I hope that Olimer stays with the Bulborbs... it would certainly be an interesting change of events. Besides, Bulborbs are cute!

This is a very interestin twist to the original Pikmin. I can't wait for the next chapter, but considering this hasn't had an update since it was published over four months ago, that might be a while...