i really love it please write more!

I luv this story I can't wait till you post the next chapter.

I loved this chapter.

Ok, prepare yourself because unlike every other person who's "reviewed" I am going to be very honest and quite frank about the quality of this story.

Firstly, The RAMPANT Out of Character-ness needs to cease and desist.
Example: Bella's New Car. Have even you read all of the books? Her wanting/liking a luxury car is so vastly out of character it's laughable.

Secondly, it's very clear that you need a beta, because not only do you quite OFTEN Misspell words you Misuse them as well.


Example: "some sort of delegate pattern "
You meant Delicate. Not Delegate. See Definition:

del⋅e⋅gate:
   Pronunciation [n. del-i-git, -geyt; v. del-i-geyt] Show IPA noun, verb, -gat⋅ed, -gat⋅ing.
–noun
1. a person designated to act for or represent another or others; deputy; representative, as in a political convention.
2. (formerly) the representative of a Territory in the U.S. House of Representatives.
3. a member of the lower house of the state legislature of Maryland, Virginia, or West Virginia.
–verb (used with object)
4. to send or appoint (a person) as deputy or representative.
5. to commit (powers, functions, etc.) to another as agent or deputy.





del⋅i⋅cate
   /ˈdɛlɪkɪt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [del-i-kit] Show IPA
–adjective
1. fine in texture, quality, construction, etc.: a delicate lace collar.
2. fragile; easily damaged; frail: delicate porcelain; a delicate child.
3. so fine as to be scarcely perceptible; subtle: a delicate flavor.
4. soft or faint, as color: a delicate shade of pink.
5. fine or precise in action or execution; capable of responding to the slightest influence: a delicate instrument.
6. requiring great care, caution, or tact: a delicate international situation.
7. distinguishing subtle differences: a delicate eye; a delicate sense of smell.
8. exquisite or refined in perception or feeling; sensitive.
9. regardful of what is becoming, proper, etc.: a delicate sense of propriety.
10. mindful of or sensitive to the feelings of others: a delicate refusal.
11. dainty or choice, as food: delicate tidbits.
12. primly fastidious; squeamish: not a movie for the delicate viewer.
13. Obsolete. sensuous; voluptuous.
–noun
14. Archaic. a choice food; delicacy.
15. Obsolete. a source of pleasure; luxury.
Origin:
1325–75; ME delicat < L dēlicātus delightful, dainty; akin to delicious

Related forms:
del⋅i⋅cate⋅ly, adverb
del⋅i⋅cate⋅ness, noun


See the difference?


Thirdly, While your is certainly not the worst story I've ever read in this fandom it's still a good ways away from the best; but as it currently stands it's just not worth my time.

I did however, enjoy the idea for this story. Bella moving in with Edward holds a great appeal. Also, you did write the summary well, it did capture my interest and get me to read a few chapters.


Lastly, with all that being said; good luck with your writing. Continue to improve your writing by editing, revising and proofreading.

I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT! BECAUSE I ONLY NOTICE THE THINGS THAT DO NOT MATTER WHAT SO EVER! it didn't matter cause you just told us...

OH NO SAVE ME!

WHT WLL HPPN? SRRY KYBRD BRKE VLWS DNT WRK.

grr.

god. WAT UP WITH PERSONALITY CHANGE?

hehehe.

say, when bella sleeps wouldn't anna hear her sleep talk about vampires?

hahahahahaha the story is funny but the chapter review was funnier!

oh. **!

As I promised, here is my french traduction for this chapter.

"Et toute la longueur, de l'Amérique, est de quatre jeunes filles faisant un numéro appelé Marmarlade Dame de l'American film Moulin Rouge,"
would be better in
"Directement venues d'Amérique, quatre jeunes filles vont nous interpréter un numéro intitulé Lady Marmelade, tiré du film américain, Moulin Rouge".

I've just finished reading your fic and it was thrilling.
I'm waiting to read the next chapters.
By the way, I'm french and if you want, I could correct your dialogs in the bachelorette's party trip to Paris.