Awesome story. This could easily had been canon, IMO. *claps* Not a lot of fanfiction can grasp canon like this. Awesome.

very nice!

I really, really like this fic. You show feelings from all of the characters, and you're able to descript everything so good.

However, the last chapter was kind of a... disapointment. Everything was so dark and depressing, and then, POOF, Nanoha wakes up, can somewhat walk again, and everybody is happy. Pretty, strange ending.

Otherwise, I'm looking forward to your one-shot about Vivio. :D

Awesome, but I think there should be more chapters or a sequel XD!

Really impressed with the quality of this story. Was nice reading about how the characters would react to such a situation coming to Nanoha.

Especially impressed by Vita since while I felt bad for the guilt she was putting on herself she reacted in an understandable way. Really became a favorite through the series partially due to her sense of not letting any more harm come to Nanoha. Enjoyed reading this one.

Thought that was a really good ending to the story, was really sad how everyone was blaming themselves...
The only thing that seemed just a bit out of place was how Nanoha knew what Hayate was blaming herself for, but I still liked it overall.

one prob...if nanoha was near-death, why she wake up she wasn't weak? u shuld make her seem a little more weaker :X

That was nice, but a little rushed, if you had worked on the emotions more, it'd have been better, but good job anyway! (:

nice one! it really gives a sorta explanation that i was hoping for but never came! xD...guess i'll b satisfied with this one!
btw, it's 'Takamachi Nanoha', not 'Nanoha Takamachi' coz in jap last name is in front yup!

Wow ... I am away during some time and I find 3 new chapters *_*
Simply good ^^

Well, what can I say apart : Awesome - beautiful - wonderful?

(sorry, but I don't speak english very well so I definitely do not know how to express myself ^^')

But I love all of your story ^^

I hope you wrote other fanfic (I read all of it! I promise ;) )

I must say that I'm really enjoying your story. :) The characters are believable, and you can feel the weight on Fare/Hayate/Vita as they each blame themselves.

My favorite lines though had to be this:

“I'm sorry... it was my mistake... are you alright, Vita?”

Even after being stabbed, she asked if Vita was alright. She was so... selfless.

I loved that you touched upon that. When I read that manga page, I was surprised to see that even though Nanoha was severely injured, bloody all over, and with who knows how many bones broken, she's unconcerned about herself and wants to know if Vita is ok.

Keep up the good work~ :)

Aww...Vita's still blaming herself a lot.
Everyone seems really in character this chapter, you did a good job with that.
I know they're not really important to the story, but it did seem a bit weird that Zafira didn't talk at all and that Shamal hasn't shown up much. But like I said it's fine and I look forward to the next chapter. Ideas yet on how many there'll be?

Happy belated birthday! You know, I just have to say that when I read that you were only 13, my respect for your writing went up simply because there are a lot of authors out there that are older than you with english as their first language and their stories are downright horrible - whether it be because of plot, grammar, or both. Your format and grammar is spot on, and that's great - I've been guilty of not reading a story or so because I *can't read it.* That's not to say that I haven't gone back and given stories another chance, but something that's aesthetically pleasing is hard to deny.

Anyway, your story is moving along nicely... I look forward to reading more of it. Obviously the other chapter focused more on Nanoha and Vita, but it was good to see more of the others in the second one. Keep it up!

Tenkaichi

Aww...that was really sad...
I feel sorry for Vita, she seems to blame herself a lot...
Thought everyone seemed pretty much in character this time.

So wonderful *_*
I love your story ! Your description and style writting ... All ^^
But! ... Don't let me get waited so long XD (I wait the next ... soon? XD)

Thanks ^^