Oh you must keep going! I want to to know what will happen next... Like if Kouji ends up joining them... and Takuya's temper -laughs- He needs anger management.

Please write more!

~Fernclaw

Glad to see you updated. :) I can see why Koji felt like that. The group had already given so much to protecting that world, and now they were being sucked back in again. Anyway, nice chapter. I hope to see more soon.

I love this story. Update soon, please!

I can't wait to see where this story goes. I hope you'll still update even thought it's been nearly a year. Good chapter, hope there's more.

haha, the digimon leaping out at Takuya was so funny! i really liked that! Hope to read more soon, but if life aint treating you fair, then no presure and i mean it!

What you have here is fairly good, but still pretty rough around the edges. Chapters one and two are far too short on their own--they would meld together much better as a single chapter. Narration-wise, you're pretty good. It flows fairly well, though if you're going to tell the narration from Takuya's side (even if it's in the third person), you should stick to that. Don't go and show Koichi in Koji's room giving a peace sign; Takuya can't see it, and since we're reading things on his side, we shouldn't see it either.

Dialogue-wise, you're a bit off. Takuya's voice isn't quite there. It comes out a bit choppy and the words don't quite match him. He's an average kid, but his lines don't flow the way an average kid's would.

And fact-wise, there are a couple of nits that aren't too big, but a little jarring: First, in the breakfast scene, you describe things a little too much in Western terms. Takuya's family isn't too likely to be eating bacon and eggs with forks for breakfast. While they might eat eggs (and Data Squad definitely seems to be a good indicator of that), they'd use chopsticks to eat. You might want to look up Japanese cuisine if you want to get really picky about it, or just gloss over the description entirely--simply say that Takuya's mother is making breakfast and she needs him and Shinya to set the table. Second, the D-tector doesn't have a built-in analyzer the way the digivices in Tamers had. Again, it's not too big a deal, but it does stand out a bit. Third, and this one is fairly big, Takuya's reaction to Leormon is too calm. Digimon aren't supposed to be able to appear in the human world; it's a massive taboo--Bokomon said so, that if they did, they could destroy the human world. So Takuya simply being a little surprised doesn't fit with that.

Overall, it isn't too bad, but if you're revising it, you might want to take these things into consideration. I especially recommend that you take care of the dialogue issues--that's a pretty important part of characterization, how their voice comes across.

FC: Taki Vs. Fuzzball, Round Two!
Fern: Leormon Won again...
Fc: Beaches are good, Beaches are nice, Blazin' hot sand, Oceans like ice... Am I your only Reviewer?
Fern: -looks around- Looks like it... stop rhyming
Fc: ...Make me...
Fern: Do I have to?
Fc: No... I'm done, Anywho, Taki's got some explaining to do. And I loved that line "Warrior of Flame, Let me OUT!" I started to laugh out loud (and I'm supposed to be writing a chem report)
Fern: Speaking of which.. you're not done...
Fc: I'm GOING! Shees get off my case!

Fc: AW! Taki Vs Leormon, Round one
Fern: And the winner is Leormon, Of course
FC: Yup... Hey wait.. Are you saying Taki can't hold his own to the yellow fuzz ball?
Fern: Uhh, Duh
Fc: I'm gonna make you regret saying that!
Fern: Catch me first!
FC: Nah too tired, So two Digidestined down, three to go...