I haven't read the manga but I have seen the entire series so that should be good enough for me to go off of. Anyways, considering the context of the poem (Chobits), I really like it. It almost sounds like one of those books that Chi was always reading so good job on that.

On the other hand,I am just finishing a Poetry Writing class in college so mind if I give some critisim. First off, some of the lines are quite longer than others so a correction would be to shorten them up or break them down into their own lines. My favorite line in the poem would have to be in the first stanza when it says "broken jewels coming together to . . ." I like how you worded that and it is very vivid. I think the poem would benefit from more concrete images and metaphors rather than abstractions; which simply means to give more images such as the line that I mentioned.

Anyways, I hate to critize a beautiful peice of work such as this, but I guess it has gotten into my blood via that college course. It is nothing personal and I really do like your poem. As a Chobits fan, I think you captured everything beautifuly, and as a student from college I think the poem is great but would benefit from more vivd imagery. Good job; I hope to see more poetry such as this from you. It's very nicely done.

your poem is really close to chii's emotions. Keep up the good work!

It was okay. Not the best but not bad. Really good though.

Hey, that's really good. you wright good poetry.