Truly gripping first chapter, honestly I have never been more knowledgeable about the characters in any other story as quickly as this. Maybe it is because everything and anything about them thrust into my face like robotic Mary-Sues. Honestly, did you take the name "John Proctor" because you are trying to make a statement or are you just a delusional teenager with no imagination?

Your characters are blatant, superficial mash-ups of characters from other movies, books and video games. Your writing is atrocious and idiotic. How dare you use the name "mtwain", how dare you submit such filth with no remorse, and how dare your readers not say anything about it?

My advice to you is to give up now while you are still relatively safe from humiliation or get off the internet and go learn something about writing from real people and not by reading other fanfictions or through role playing.

What a fantastic ending. I totally wrote that last part. ;]

Pity we lost the parts... I only have the ones I wrote. :[

Great writing. Great story. I liked the part where the Force Ghosts of his friends appeared and kept him from dying, giving him a chance to complete his task.

I remember writing this--vividly. I can seriously tell that our writing has improved. Remember when everyone was tired of writing, so you and I finished it alone. I believe that all of these parts were written by only you and I. Ah, good times, eh? :]

Good stuff. We're nearly at the end, right?

Awesome. Pure awesomeness. Is anyone else reading?

These were some of our better parts, I feel.

YES. I love Ender.

ok if darth rayna is or was Revans padawan at one time, then you should say this is AU. Put this in real life format. Revan is the greeks that developed Democracy. Darth Bane are the Americans, that took the greeks ideals and used them. Darth Bane, changed the entire Sith empire and implanted a rule that revan created.

"Always two there are; no more, no less: a master and an apprentice." -Yoda

"Two there should be; no more, no less. One to embody power, the other to crave it." -Darth Bane

"...By its very nature the dark side invites rivalry and strife. This is the greatest strength of the Sith: it culls the weak from our order. Yet this rivalry can also be our greatest weakness. The strong must be careful lest they be overwhelmed by the ambitions of those working beneath them in concert. Any master who instructs more than one apprentice in the ways of the dark side is a fool. In time, the apprentices will unite their strengths and overthrow the master. It is inevitable; axiomatic. That is why each master must have only one student. This is also the reason there can only be one Dark Lord. The Sith must be ruled by a single leader: the very embodiment of the strength and power of the dark side..." - Darth Revan's Holocron

so beware you are going AU

This part wasn't spliced together very well, but besides that minor problem, it was great. I loved seeing Jack back! I want Sax to one day write more about Jax...

What a pity Jax was abandoned. I liked him. Remember when Sax tried to start a story centered around Jax? Meh, it failed unfortunately. I really liked the "Flowers? On Korriban?" part.

It won't let me leave another comment, but this one is for Chapter Five. *Ahem* I think that the best part of this whole story is Aranel coming upon the grave of Darth Bob.

The writing is hardly coherent. O.o

I can't wait for the part when we randomly kill off characters because their creators disappeared.

Oh, and which character is the Mary Sue?

Good memories . . . good memories . . . our writing was really weird and awkward, however.