   Mahojin
2007-11-18 . chapter 1Beautiful!
‘’Cos then I’d have to ask them what antiwhatsit meant. Come on, we’ve only got two hours.’
I love your characterization of these two. It's not too extreme or too bland. Ren is clearly stubborn, Horohoro is clearly fun-loving. Also I love how Ren was pointedly trying to sound smarter than Horohoro, but really, they're equally clueless. They're both smart and both stupid in their own ways.
It seemed to me Horohoro was kind of a . . . dork? That's the word for it, I think. Definately "sticks out in the crowd" and is kinda silly, but compared to Ren, in most social situations, he's a lot less awkward. I liked the little "nice meeting you" from Horohoro. That was an interesting addition, I'm not sure why. I think it's because, hey, he was talking to some girls, and, unlike what seems to be the general concensus among the less-informed Horo-fans (out-going = likes to flirt with random girls all day) would think he'd do, _not_ hitting on them!
I like that you don't have to describe the time or place to extensively; it just seems to be naturally understood that Horohoro and Ren are together and thus whatever they do seems to be right. The part where Horohoro lifts Ren over his shoulder, and the other references to Ren's petitness, made me quite happy. Very cute fic. There's a sort of rant-shaped review for you. I really like this little piece! |
DayDrEaMiNg-child
2007-10-03 . chapter 1love the part when Ren got jealous, that was just so funny for some reason. but then the part when Ren was suddenly anxious to learn, for the sake of being with Horo i guess, that was adorable. literally made me go "aw!" |
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